|
..Albuquerque..Gallup..Winslow..Flagstaff...Vegas...
|
May 4, 2009 6:51 am
6077 Views
|
.
..this is day one of our journey..it is May 3rd...2009....left from Providence's...Green Airport..early this morning...stopped in Minn. StPaul...Airport for 30 minutes to change planes...then boarded plane for Albuquerque....while in flight...(..being sort of petrified of flying..)....reread two books....."...To Kill A Mockingbird..."...and ...Grapes of Wrath..."...well...made it to Albuquerque..my two buds...Greg and Bryan...waiting to pick me up........so beautiful here....have already seen and done so many things....have viewed and swam in the Rio Grande River...`...(..got yelled at for doing so...}...have seen Old Town...Alburquerque....saw and entered my 1st Casino...did not play...have driven on Rte 66.....have eaten....eaten...eaten...everything in site...at the 66 Diner located at 1405 Central Avenue NE...had my 1st Dreamsicle shake..which actually took 15 minutes to make.....my two buds...have drank...drank...drank...{..I do not drink...)...have already this morning...ate breakfast...swam in the pool...exercised...and getting things done on my laptop....right now..off to see Petroglyph National Museum..and guess what...yup ..going to ride my HD for the 1st time this year....later guys...back from seeing the petroglyphs...which was fascinating...would recommend it to everyone who has never seen them.... zeb..
..this is day two of our journey...it is May 4th..2009....it is the day which I was really waiting for...riding my bike from Albuquerque to Flagstaff...started out really early...about 4AM...and riding on old Rte 66 and Rte 40 West...was an experience which will stay in my heart a long long long time....it has been so long...so very long have since I have been out on the road with my two buds......had the biggest smile on my face...riding third and looking at my two buds in front of me...have not been this happy in a long long time....stopped at a place called El Rancho Hotel for dinner....had my 1st taste of Navajo Tea...and a chicken enchilada...also while there got to see the Gallery of Arts...which included ..paintings...rugs..pottery..kachinas...sandpaintings...all done by Indian artists...silversmiths...potters..sandpainters...kachina carvers.....the hotel itself was visited by people such as President Ronald Reagan....William Bendix...Allan Ladd...names of people...mostly unknown by me....but kept me excited to have stepped in the same spot they did.......along the way...we took a 28 mile detour to see the Petrified Forest National Park....the best 7 dollars which I have spend in a long long time........ stood at so many of the points...and just daydreamed of all the people who had passed this way before me.......continued riding......and came upon a city which will live in my heart a long time...Winslow...wow...almost wet my chaps...looking over this city...people so nice...and actually stood on the corner of Winslow Arizoma...spend $100.02...on gifts for my Parents.....after Winslow...was a short trip to Flagstaff.....arrived about 6PM...after dropping our gear off...my buds had a surprise for me.....got on our bikes...and started riding...and whoa............a dream come true....Lowell Observatory....wow...got to view Saturn and the Moon...as well as attend a speech and show by one of my MIT profs...concerning meteors and comets...was the highlight of my trip so far....
.......this is the third day of our journey...it is may 5th,2009...about 5AM...just woke up...nothing to write about yet......got on our bikes this morning..headed for the South Rim of the Grand Canyon...arrived there at about 9 AM...right now..late afternoon... sitting on a bench...trying to answer my email messages...and not doing such a good job of it...everytime I pick my head up...it has all changed...minute to minute...second to second...so beautiful...wish you all were here with me experiencing what I am experiencing right now...been in a helicopter...not my 1st time as I was in the military...but the 1st time...I smiled about it...rode a donkey down a trail...biked...walked...and smiled and smiled and smiled...we three spent the rest of the afternoon ..walking the various trails...and then sitting on a wall overlooking the canyon as the sun set...guess we all were looking...looking...looking....thinking...thinking...thinking....that there were not going to be many more times like this...where we just hung out......together..buds...just doing nothing...but everything...I smiled and looked at my two friends...and they must have been thinking and feeling exactly as I was at that moment...cause one at a time we raided our hands and grasped each the other...and the three of us whispered the words....forever...forever...forever...one for each of us...we then stood up..looked at each other...hugged and then stood there for what seemed like an eternity..just hand on each other's shoulders ..staring out.....but life goes on...and the silence was broken ...when someone shouted out...."..the ya ya's.."...we told them that we would meet them...looked at my buds...said go ahead..got something I want to do..we hugged..later..and they walked off...laughing and their arms around each other's shoulder...smiled...and began walking back to the village...zeb...
..this is the 4th day of our journey..it is May 6th,2009....it is about 6AM..have already exercised ..showered...ate breakfast...my friends are still asleep...was a late night for them yesterday...this is the day we chose to split up...them going on to California to the end of the road...me...back home...the note on my pillow told me a little differently...guess the plans have changed...will have to wait until they wake up and see...well..they eventually woke up...told me the deal...if I travelled to california with them...they would visit my relatives in vegas with me...and we will all fly home on Saturday...shipping the bikes back home.. agreed with it...and off we went..we followed Rte 66 to Needles ,California..saw so much on the way...and then eventually travelled to Vegas...where we are right now..just arrived about an hour ago...staying withy relatives..zeb
..this is the 4th day of our journey..it is May 7,2009...just woke up about an hour ago..was out late last night..got in about 4am..it was a night in fantasy land...people..people..people..everywhere...laser shows..laughing...looking at stuff only read about.....am now getting ready to go to Hoover...spend the day traveling around the Hoover Dam area...so much construction with the new bridge and all...also spend some time in the red rock as suggested by an OP member...was quite beautiful...the rest of the day...readied my bike to be sent back home..zeb..
..this is the 5th day of our journey..it is May 8,2009...did not get to sleep...we all stayed up all night doing stuff....right now...10:30 AM and just leaving...have no idea where ...but I trust my buds.....omg..never did so many things in such a short period of time...shows...food..sights......it was my 2nd straight day of no sleep...have not done that since military...and was seeing sort of different sights at that time... zeb...
..this is the 6th day of our journey..it is May 9,2009..have not slept yet..going on my 2nd day...and yup...am home...Wisconsin...left the Las Vegas Airport at about 1AM...this morning...landed in the Twin Cities..about 4AM...Central Time..plane landed...got our gear together...headed for the Concourse....you guys..ever flying out of Minn-St.Paul...know what I am talking about---a beautiful place..was told where to meet my Parents...so I headed for that area....upon reaching the spot where my Parents were supposed to pick us up..did not see them...so we decided to sit and wait for them...the seats were like back to back...was so tired when I sat down..and of course my head started to nod a little...well ...more than a little...think I dozed off..don't know for how long...my Buds...they were right next to me.....don't know how long after I nodded off.. someone tapped me on the head...said..."...let's go.."...thinking it was my buds...got up as I was saying..."OK.."...and reached for my nap sack and was about to put it over my shoulder....my buds just sat there....looked at them and said...thought you guys said..."..let's go.."..they just laughed...and then...looked at the guy ...sitting with his back to us....did not say a word...just looked...just kept looking...at the back of the guys head...shouted out....."...oh no."...as the guy was turning around...and you know what....these past few days..saw so many things along with my buds...which will stay inside my heart forever...but right at that moment...was experiencing something..which far surpassed anything which we had done these past few days...stood on the seat..jumped over to the other side...and started shouting..something ..if you know me...you know that I would never do something like that.....as I am a very conservative person in public..practically landed on the guy as I went over the chairs....it was my brother..Sean..he was supposed to be overseas ..in the military....not here..hugged him..hugged him some more...and then even hugged him so more..saying stuff...and I know ...that we are supposed to love everyone equally and all...was raised that way.. ..but I can not help myself...my brother ..Sean..to me..is the most favorite person in the world...we shared so much...growing up...me the little brother...him...the big brother....he is a little over a year older...talking about stuff ..late night...as we slept in the same room...h***..the same bed..he was not supposed to be home..on leave.. until later this summer.....don't remember picking up my nap sack...don't remember walking out to the car...don't remember..driving home the two hours..don't remember whatever was said...just know...my brother...my two buds...and myself...all in the same spot....and if you can remember...some time in your life...when you felt ..that this is it...this was the best feeling of all times...then you know what I was experiencing then..at the airport..zeb
|
|
|
40
Comments
|
|
|
..what a beautiful day...
|
Apr 15, 2009 10:22 am
5423 Views
|
...sitting here in class...looking out the window...what a beautiful day..the infinite corridor is barely empty...everybody walking the streets rather than using the tunnels to go from class to class..hope you all are out there enjoying it...wearing shorts and a tank top.....sandals...and oh yeah..my Baltimore Orioles baseball cap...zeb
..
|
|
|
44
Comments
|
|
|
..somethings work with nature...not against it...
|
Mar 15, 2009 11:26 am
4855 Views
|
....right now...Sunday morning...sitting on a bench in NYC Central Park...across the place where am staying this weekend...with my Host Family....
...that 1st step into the ocean...
...that 1st grasp of a baby's hand holding your finger....
...that 1st breath of a farmlands early morning air...
...that 1st touch to soothe an itch...
...that 1st swallow of milk straight from the cow...
...that 1st moment of waking up....
...that 1st taste of chocolate cake....
...that 1st step into a classroom....
...that 1st time behind the wheel with no Parents sitting there..
...that 1st time you bought your own clothes....
...repeating these things a million times...over and over and over...and still feeling the same as if it were the 1st time...things like these above...which happen to us ...oh so often....and more than likely....we never give a 2nd thought to....why does one even think of such things... dunno...do you...are these the things which keep us real... dunno...do you...are these the things which make us who we are....dunno...do you ...is there really any answer for the asked questions...dunno...do you....
...a great big yawn and stretch.....
...the sound of a plane overhead...
...raising your hand cause you know the answer...
...a dream remembered....
...the taste of bacon...
...the feeling of a bee sting...
...hearing the words..." I do..."...
...going home with a good report card...
...the smell of your new baseball glove...
...hearing and feeling these things a million times...over and over and over...and still feeling the same as if it were the 1st time...things like these above...which happen to us ...oh so often.....and more than likely...we never give a 2nd thought to...why does one even think of such things... dunno....do you....are these the things which keep us real.... dunno...do you....are these the things which make us who we are....dunno...do you...is there really an answer for the asked questions...dunno...do you...
...looking at your little toe....
...hearing something as unrehearsed as a hiccup...
...making a snowball..a sand castle....a sandwich...
...trying to count the stars...
...those last 3 steps you take before asking her to dance..
...climbing a tree...clearing the table...
...looking in the mirror and holding your 1st razor...
...receiving your first scout badge....
...hearing and feeling these things a million times....over and over and over...things like these above...which happen to us...oh so often...and more than likely...we never give a 2nd thought to..why does one even think of such things...I dunno...do you..are these the things which keep us real...I dunno...do you...are these the things which make us who we are...dunno...do you..is there really an anwer for the asked questions...dunno...do you...
...getting older and losing the ability to shout...screaming real loud....doubt my words......try it...go ahead try it..lol...
funny isn't it...a little harder than you expected...wasn't it...ever wonder why...ever think about it...ever wonder when that screaming and playful shouting as a kid stopped....ever think about it....see...too busy with life.... you are beginning to understand ...aren't you...what all those written words above were trying to tell you...all those fantastic things written above...and most likely....the million or so which you could have added to that list...they all belong to each of us...and if you choose to ignore their presence...and if you choose not to pay attention to those things in your life which really matter...then they.....like having the opportunity of standing alone in a crowd ..looking upward....and shouting for the world to notice that you are an important part of it all....may also be lost.....
......rocks...pebbles...sand...rocks...pebbles..sand......
|
|
|
30
Comments
, 2 Pending
|
|
|
...$11.17...a Baby Ruth...a rose....loved ones...a friend....
|
Mar 9, 2009 2:40 pm
4491 Views
|
........been awhile since I have had something bothering me.....at least something which I wanted to share with others.....but...just can't ignore something which has been bothering me the past few days in my life..and kind of figured that putting it down in words might help.................
......".....diah..." (..that is what my family calls me...when they are trying to tell me something...which they deem important....and it happens quite frequently....)...this is my Dad talking to me...oh so long ago.........."..diah..in your life....you are going to come into contact with many people....people....with many different backgrounds.....people....of many different ages.......people...of many different looks....people....who have many different opinions.....and as you move through lifes different stages.......these chance meetings or encounters with the world's great variety of peoples are something you will ultimately have to deal with....of course....you....yourself.....will be the deciding factor on how you deal with the meeting of each individual...and as your Dad....need to give you a little advice.....if you do not allow all types of people into your life.....if you turn your back on someone because they look different then you do....if you turn your back on someone because they do not think in the same way that you do....if you turn your back on someone because they are younger or older then yourself....then my Son....you do yourself a great injustice.....".....these are words....as best as I remember them spoken to me by my Dad...as we stood out in the fields overlooking our farm when I was about 11 years old...or somewheres around that age....and of course.....being 11 years old....I had little comprehension of what my Dad was trying to say to me...I was more interested in going hunting......today...am a little bit older than that 11 year old kid walking throught the fields with his Dad...am getting to an age...am beginning to enter a threshhold of understanding of those words He spoke to me years ago........ ..last night...was home by myself...my roomies ...here at school...had taken off to somewheres....don't really know where...no concern of mine ..anyhow...as long as they were safe...decided to try and catch up with answering my private emails messages...not the ones on OP...but ones sent to my regular email address....some were funny and brought a smile to my face....some were interesting in all sorts of ways....and some were sort of lecturing me for being such a slacker and not sending a reply to their message a little quicker than I did.....but I battled my way through...the best I could...and finally finished....still had some time left before I had to get to bed...so I decided to go onto the site OP....so I did...still thinking about the various messages which I had just encountered off site...decided to look over my network of friends here on OP.....so I pulled up my network of friends.....one by one...looked at the photos..if there was one....read the profiles once again.....and then just sat and stared at the screen....person...after person...after person...until my head began to hurt...I sat there staring and thinking to myself.....I don't know but a handful of these people......who are the rest...how did this happen....where did these people come from...I asked myself...how did I get so far away from those words that my Dad spoke to me that day......at that moment I felt so badly...and said quietly to myself....zeb...how do you fix this.....and the only thing that came across my lips ......as I sat there and stared was....I dunno.....I dunno how to fix it.....only know that I have to do something about it....just not the right thing to let happen...I once again began flipping through the profiles of my friend's list...one at a time....sat there thinking and staring...and finally scrolled down to the bottom of the page and clicked the log off button to get away from it all....I turned off the computer and laid on my bed staring up at the ceiling...tears rolling down my cheeks...feeling really bad.....at what I had let happen....laid there for such a long time...remembering one other time in my life when I had felt like this....had these same feelings...of not knowing how to handle a situation....felt so alone...had just tuned 18....was home.....for the first time in a few months from that day when my world was turned upside down...remember that night like it was yesterday...it was cold and snowy as it is much of January in Wisconsin...remember climbing out of my bedroom window and walking through the woods until I reached the spot where the two most important people to ever enter my life rested....sat on the site ..on the ground....and fantasized of what could have been...I hurt so much inside...just like I do right now.....I sat and sat and sat...seemed to me that there was no such thing as time......it was so still...so quiet..that night...what seems like an eternity ago.....and then I heard footsteps coming closer to me as I sat there..could see someone approaching me......and as the figure got closer..a voice said my name... ...it was my Grand Dad...my Dad's Father......upon reaching me...and looking down at me...sitting on the ground...he told me that quite a few people were worried about me and out looking for me...I began to lift myself up off the ground.....and as I was lifting myself upwards..my Grand Dads hand grabbed my chin and his eyes met mine and he said to me..."...sit..."..."...you are not yet ready to go home..."....he then sat down on the ground next to me....had a blanket with him....wrapped us both in it and put his arm around me...and we sat there for what seemed like forever......no other words were spoken between us that night...we just sat there ...daylight came....still snowing....and we still sat there.....finally ....I turned to my Gramps and told him that I was ready to go home now...in my heart I know I had made peace with those that rested there...as I told them with my heart...how sorry I was for not doing my job and protecting them that awful day like I was suppose to......I apologized to them and hoped they realized how much they will always mean to me...and that apology that I made to those two....I now offer the same to my friends in my network...for not being a good friend to you and even forgetting who some of you even are.....one at a time if I go through that list...maybe...just maybe...I could make it up to you...dunno...just dunno.....I sit here and write this stuff because it is important to me....I sit here and write this instead of doing the things the world feels I need to be doing right now ..cause it is important to me...I sit here and do this cause I am confused when people ask me to be their friend and all they really want is to make me another notch on their tally sheet....you ask me to be your friend because you say you need a friend....you ask me to be your friend to help make your life complete...yes...you ask this of me...you...from Georgia to Washington..you.....from North Carolina to Iowa....you...from Canada to Great Britain...you...from Mexico to Australia to the Far East......you from the metropolises of the world..the villages......you of many races...many religions...many professions...you ..the old...the young...the rich...the poor...the athletic...the educated...the ones who think that they have it all...and yup...the ones who think that they have nothing...I read it in the words you use to message me....I hear it in the voices of you who to talk with me...I see it in the eyes of those who cam with me...I feel it in the touch of hands touching from those who have met with me...but most of all I sense it the hearts of a few who reach out to me...to you who cross the barrier of safety which this site offers to all in your first attempt to contact me...I say this to you...I search for a friend just as you do...I am no different inside and most likely yearn for the same things you do....I have needs...I have wants...I have spirit...I am little different from you...so don't make me into something which I am not...those who cross over that safety barrier and reach their hand out to me.....in return....you will sense and feel how really undifferent we are on the inside...you will see this...you will feel this...and ultimately either reject this or accept this...are you ready to come out of your comfort zone..are you ready for a friend...are you ready to have someone stand next to you......someone who will not make excuses for you when you are troubled...but will stand by your side and share your pain...sharing the anxiety..you feel as you attempt to align your life back to normalcy in your own way...are you ready to have someone stand next to you who speaks what you need to hear...not always ....necessarily what you want to hear...and once again have that person stand by your side as you...yourself...decides what is right for you and does not coerce you to decide in the way they think best for you...but the way...you...yourself thinks is best for you...are you ready to be yourself in front of someone and once again have that chosen someone stand by your side and not judge you for being you....but accept you for being just you...no matter what...are you ready to have someone stand next to you who realizes and abides that we are two different people...with different dreams sometimes...with different values sometimes...with different backgrounds sometimes...with different attitudes sometimes...and both not caring about the differences even though they are right there in front of you for both to see......are you ready to reach your hand out to the other and be willing to walk side by side for as long as needed....whether it be a second...a minute..an hour...a day...a year...a lifetime....are you ready to have someone walk along your side and allow each the other to be onesself...are you ready to have someone walk along your side and realize that each of you has the right and the duty to have others in your life...and encourages each the other to do so...as this is the bonding point of all friendships.....setting one free in the world and at the same time always being joined by the heart...like the old adage states.....set them free...and if it was meant to be...it will be...and if it was not meant to be...then it won't be...whatever way it goes...it only makes you stronger and your life takes on meaning...purpose...even a Parent has to let it's young experience life...therefore this adage proves truer moreso between friends...are you ready to reach out to someone to share this goodness...the strenghts..the weaknesses of each other......does it sound too difficult....too hard....are you too busy to make the effort to reach out your hand for total friendship....before you make the decision to answer these questions.....before you walk away from this post and shake your head as if to blow the whole thing off as BS....before you reach out with your entire being...and leave yourself vulnerable to another....THINK....there are people out there that thrive on the vulnerbility of others...and there are those out there that watch over those that are vulnerable....and when you find this person who feels your vulnerbility and does not use it for his or her own advantage...you have the beginning of a friendship...and you are doing yourself an injustice by turning away and not allowing yourself to reach out.....are you a loser if you do or don't reach out...are you a winner if you do or do not reach out ...does it really matter to anyone except yourself what the answer to that question is...THINK...are you strong enough to walk alone the rest of your life...are you young and possess the attitude of invincibility and need no one in your life by your side....well...good for you.....are you mature....seen and heard it all...and posess an attitude of contentedness and superiority and need no one in your life by your side...well good for you...are you a person who has been hurt in one way or another and does not have the energy or the will to try again and are content to wallow in your self pity...well... good for you....as for all you others...who feel a need for something...more than themselves....look around you...search..and if you find that you need something more than you yourself can give you to make yourself complete...do it...take a chance....but whatever way you choose to live your life ...make that decision by yourself...in your own way...in your own time frame...you decide what is going to make you happy long term...and remember ..whatever happens in your life...it happens for a reason....so smile because it happened...don't cry because it has past...there is only one thing in life which is certain....and that is...everything...yes everything....changes...so don't make the mistake of making what happened in your past entirely make up your preent....make your past part of who you will become tomorrow.........
....I write this post today...cause I am beginning to feel that OP has given me all it can right now...and am begiining to think that I am almost strong enough to face the world in my chosen way of life..liked being here...many ups...many downs...and I am not saying that I am leaving...just going to be living more in the real world...thanks for all you guys being all you guys...zeb
...we had a quarrel...
...a teenage quarrel now I am as blue as I know how to be
...I can't call you on the phone
...I can't even see you at your home
...so I am sending you this present
...just to prove that I am telling the truth
...dear I believe you won't laugh when you receive
...this rose and a baby ruth
...I could have sent you an orchid of some kind
...but that's all I had in my jeans at the time
...but when we grow up
...someday I will show up
...just to prove I was telling the truth
...I will kiss you too then I"ll hand to you
...this rose and a baby ruth...
****** dedicate this to Gramps for that night you sat with me...I love you..*****...diah.......
|
|
|
19
Comments
|
|
|
it
|
Feb 1, 2009 12:33 pm
4435 Views
|
When I was one -and-twenty
I heard a wise man say,
'Give crowns and pounds and guineas
But not your heart away;
Give pearls away and rubies
But keep your fancy free.'
But I was one-and-twenty,
No use to talk to me.
When I was one-and-twenty
I heard him say again
'Tis heart out of the bosom
Was never given in vain;
'Tis paid with sighs a plenty
And sold for endless rue.'
And I am two-and-twenty,
And oh, 'tis true, 'tis true.
A.E. Housman ....1896
......a butterfly...a baby's funeral.....a night star...a lie....a toy....a friend's look....a color....lonliness....a kiss...a grasp of a friendly hand.....a smile........guess we all have things in our life.....some good....and some.....not so good.....and I guess all these things...either consciously...or subconsciously.... helps to determine ...how we act...how we feel.....how we think......and you know what...guess that I could have just said that everything around us plays upon just about every aspect of our life....every second to every second...every minute to every minute...every hour to every hour...every day to every day...every lifetime to every lifetime....but I didn't...and there must be some reason for it...dunno...just dunno..why it takes me so many words to say what is in my heart....it just does...dunno why...just dunno why........someone's words....the weather....a job....a pet...this list could go on forever....but what's the point in doing so.....sure you get the gist of what the words are trying to say....or do you just think you understand what the words are trying to say.....it is pretty evident that all things which come into our life ...play upon us...in one way or another......either.......mentally..physically....psychologically...mentally...socially......and isn't it strange ...how ultimately how each of the above....in the end affect the heart........a comfortable chair....a wound....a new born babe...a day to do absolutely nothing if such a thing exists.......yea...isn't it strange that in the end....because of these things and countless others....that it is our heart which pays the ultimate price for allowing these many things to enter into out life.....a heart which casts the final vote as to whether we cry....as to whether we laugh....as to whether we love....as to whether we hate......as to whether we accept and move on.....as to whether we rest and think and act....maybe ..just maybe...the heart is more than just a heart.....maybe...just maybe...the heart is also where the soul lies if there is such a thing.....dunno...just dunno...maybe more experience with life will help me find the answer...dunno...just dunno...
........but this I do know...have figured out.....
....if one needs to cry....by all means ...do it....but if one feels a need to cry for only of oneself.....hold back a second....think...until you find that reason for crying....and then cry for that reason of that which saddened you and not cry for yourself....cause perhaps you are not yet ready to cry.....
....if one needs to laugh....by all means...do it...but if one feels a need to laugh for only of oneself....hold back a second.....think...until you find that reason for laughing...and then laugh for that reason of that which made you smile...and not laugh for yourself....cause perhaps you are not yet ready to laugh.....
....if one needs to love....by all means...do it...but if one feels a need to love for only of oneself.....hold back a second....think...until you find that reason for loving...and then love for that reason which made or makes you complete...and not love for yourself....cause perhaps you are not yet ready to love.....
....if one needs to hate...by all means...do it....but if one feels a need to hate for only of oneself.....hold back a second....think...until you find that reason for hating...and hate for that reason which made you or others misunderstood...and not hate for yourself.....cause perhaps you are not yet ready to hate.......
....if one needs to move on...by all means...do it....but if one feels a need to move on for only of himself....hold back a second...think...until you find that reason for moving on...and move on only when you no longer need your past....and not move on for yourself...cause perhaps you are not yet ready to move on.....
....reasoning...having a reason...that is what is behind it all...yup..behind it all lies the reason....as to why or why not we do the things we do....hate ..love...laugh...cry...move on...stay.....it is like we move slowly and wander in circles...never knowing why we do the things we do.....while the reason...it sits in the middle of the circle...watching us...trying to tell us why....and do we listen...dunno...just dunno if we really do or not...do we care...is it better or worst not to know..........the reason is that secret as that eternal poem ...(... known by that title...THE SECRET...)...so depicts...the secret which knows why we do what we do....why we love what we love...why we hate what we hate...why we cry for what we cry...why we laugh for what we laugh...why we move on...stay....whatever.......
....and who...yea who....is responsible for reason....dunno...just dunno....but my guess ...it is **********.......zeb
|
|
|
9
Comments
|
|
|
...Priorities......
|
Jan 11, 2009 6:57 am
5383 Views
|
....been on semester break for a few weeks now...guess doing most of the things ...people my age...do on semester break...spending it with family...with friends...eating some good home cooking...working on the farm....skiing...skating...and getting a chance to answer some messages which had been piling up....messages which seem to ask the same three things of me...everytime....
....1. what do I think of life...
....2. what do I expect from the person writing me a message...
....3. am I ready for a relationship...
.....guess we all get the same type of questions asked of us...and I guess that we all have our own ways and methods of handling the situations....for me...sometimes messages like this overwhelm me and I just don't know how to answer them...and I end up writing a bunch of words...which seems to make sense to me...but seem to be misunderstood or taken in other ways then it was intended to be taken...
..... take the first thing...what do I think about life...how do you answer a question like this...no matter how you try...never going to please everyone with the words you write...so I mostly say...as I have said in many posts...that I think life should be lived uncomplicated...no matter what life style you choose....no matter what professional or unprofessional road you walk down..I just say that I was brought up with the belief that if you keep your life simple and uncomplicated...it makes living life a little easier..... my Parents endlessly told us kids this piece of advice...over the years......and we kids...( me..my one sister..my five brothers...) found out a little about what the words our Parents spoke... really meant as we grew from kids...to teens and now to young adults......well...sort of what they meant .....that we...ourselves ...by the things we do..make our lives so complicated ...and it is up to ourselves ....not those around us...to uncomplicate it...of course it is a hard rule to follow at times...but the end result is happier....
....the second thing...when the sender of the message asks of me...what do I expect from them...this is a little easier for me to answer because I am not the type of person who expects anything from anyone else except just being yourself and being decent to one the other......quite simple.....just start at the point we both are at and let the future friendship or aquaintance develop into whatever...no forcing it...just let it flow and see where it goes.....
....am I ready for a relationship....dunno...really just dunno...am sure though that something inside me will whisper something or bang me across the head when it is my time again to have a relationship...first off...have had a relationship...so I have experience...it was a girl-guy relationship...but it was a relationship....and I know the feelings one has or is suppose to be experiencing while this relationship progresses...the relationship I had physically..... and now only carry in my heart and mind..is one of a very personal nature...which I rarely discuss...with people other than family or really close friends....so please don't ask about the details...deal.... will say one thing...this prior relationship...at times...plays a big role in my present day life...as I am sure others who have been in similar circumstances...they do also..( am positive that I am not the only ones who passes this way...)...it is most likely because of this past relationship that I move so slowly in finding another one...don't want to hurt anyone...and also don't want to hurt myself......so if it instant gratification is what you search for...or a presto...I have a relationship type of thing.....you are looking in the wrong place...and at the wrong person...cause it is just not me........for to me....whether it be a relationship sort of thing...or a friendship...takes more then just saying hello to each other.......this holiday season...this prior relationship which I held and hold near to my heart....reared up feelings inside me...and was hard for me to handle...had trouble dealing with it...and it took my Parents a whopping ten hour marathon lecture to pull me out of the road I was beginning to travel down.....and make me realize....that my past is in my heart...keep it in the proper light...and step by step ...move on to continue my present life......that lecture...the few days spent by myself trying to decide my own fate..(.as my Parents ...they never tell us what to do...they just offer suggestions...).. did come to some conclusions as to my readiness...or lack of readiness...and those findings ...will keep to myself...
......one other thing...sure many of you ..who read posts...read the post...about me travelling with my GrandParents from school to home...here in Wisconsin...well..my GrandParents are still here...and being in the same household...they could not help but hear the doings between my Parents and myself...it was a few days later when I realized that they had heard the whole thing...was sitting out on the enclosed porch by myself.....it was about 10PM...and couldn't sleep...was looking up at the night sky and daydreaming as I often do...when I heard the door open and the light go on....it was my GrandParents...in their night clothes...( ..very much unlike my night clothes...)..I looked at them...stood up..and said ..."hi.. what's up..."..they did not say a word...just walked over to me ..hugged me...both kissed me...and handed me a white envelope with my name on it....and left...sat there...looking down at the envelope...opened it a little later...was an old piece of paper folded an creased like as if it was it a wallet or something...dunno... read it...and just sat and stared for a long time...just thinking....how everything in life is so related...the people asking me what I think of life...what I think about them...about past realtionships......every little thing we experience...is all related.....and our sanity...all depends on the priority we assign to all these experiences which happen to us...this little piece of paper which my GrandParents handed to me that night is as follows..and I don't know where it came from...and I don't know who wrote it....nor do I care.....cause to me...it was something my GrandParents gave to me...because they love me..they care for me...and that all is that really matters...
...." A philosophy professor stood before his class. He had some items on the table in front of him. When class began, he picked up a large empty mayonnaise jar and proceeed to fill it with rocks about 2" in diameter. He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed it was.
....Then the professor picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the rocks. he then asked the students if the jar was full. Again they agreed that it was.
....Then the professor picked up a box of sand and pored it into the jar the students laughed...The sand, of course,filled in everything else.
...."Now, said the professor,holding up the jar, " I want you to recognize that this is your life. The rocks are the important things in your life, your family,your partner,your health,your children- anything that is so important to you that,if it were lost,you would be destroyed."
...."The pebbles are the other things in your life that matter, your job,your house,your car. The sand is just that....the small stuff. If you put the sand into the jar first,there is no room for the pebbles or the rocks. The same goes for your life. If you spend all your energy and time on the small stuff,you will never have room for the things that are important to you. So pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness . Be with your family...play with your children...take time to get medical checkups....take your partner out on a date....dancing. There will always be time to go to work ,clean the house,give a dinner party,and fix the disposal.....Take care of the rocks first.....the things that really matter.
..........SET YOUR PRIORITIES..... THE REST IS JUST SAND........
. ...THE PERSON WHO ACTUALLY MADE ME REALIZE THAT THIS HAD TO BE SAID...YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE... AND I THANK YOU....ZEB
|
|
|
16
Comments
, 3 Pending
|
|
|
.."..Auld Land Syne..."
|
Jan 1, 2009 8:46 am
5103 Views
|
..below is an entry in a local newspaper this morning...of course we all know best that the poem was written in Scottish by the poet Robert Burns....hope you enjoy....
....."...Should auld acquaintance be forgot,and never brought to mind?...
....Should old acquaintance be forgot,and days o' lang syne...
....For auld lang syne,my dear,
....For auld lang syne
....We'll take a cup o kindness yet,for auld lang syne.
....And surely ye'll be your pint-stowp,and surely I'll be mine
....And we'll take a cup o'kindness yet,for auld lang syne
....We twa hae run about the braes,and pu'd the gowans fine
....But we wandered mony a weary foot,sin auld lang syne
....We twa hae paidlet i' the burn,frae morning sun sill dine
....But seas between us braid hae roar'd sin auld lang syne
....And there's a hand,my trusty feire, and gie's a hand o' thine
....And we'll tak a right gude-willie waught,for auld lang syne..."
....and here it is translated....
...."...Should old friends be forgotten and never brought to mind
....Should old friends be forgotten and the days they shared together
....For days now in the past, my dear.for days now in the past
....We'll drink a toast of kind remembrance,
....For days now in the past
....We two have fun about the hillsides and pulled wild daisies
....But now we are far apart in distance,from those days now in the past
....We two have paddled in the stream from morning until noon
....But oceans now lie between us since those days now in the past
....So take my hand, my trusty friend and give me your hand
....And we will take a hearty drink together.in memory of those days now in the past..."
...so sweet...so beautiful...friends forever...the way it should be...
...enjoy...and Happy New Year ... to everyone....zeb
|
|
|
17
Comments
|
|
|
....on the way home...
|
Dec 22, 2008 8:35 am
5458 Views
|
...right now...early afternoon on Monday.....right now sitting in the back seat diddling on my laptop....my GrandDad...( my Mom's Dad..) is driving...we are just at the beginning of Pennsylvania...the scenery was so beautiful....so beautiful that I decided to turn my cam on and let other members view the scenery along with us...needless...to say..it got a little hectic....and had to do it privately...a few at a time...worked out better that way...was able to converse and explain what people were seeing...my GrandParents...at first were kind of shy about it...but as we went along...they became more comfortable...especially my GrandMom.....will most likely be stopping for lunch soon...so will get back later on in the afternoon...and cam some more...want to thank all those guys...who did watch...for watching their language and stuff while in front of my GrandParents.....zeb
..right now..a little after 9 P M on Monday.......made it through Pennslyvania...and we are now right over the Michigan...Ohio border ...bedding down for the night...separate rooms of course...have had dinner...swim in the pool...even did the sauna thing...zeb...
...right now...about 7 AM...Tuesday...car is repacked...breakfast...two eggs over easy...home fries...rye toast..ham...milk...had to spend most of my $11.17 on it...car has gas...my turn to drive...Grandparents are petrified...as I keep telling them that I will have them home in 15 minutes....heading for Mackinac Pennisula...cold...but beautiful...zeb
..right now...about 12:30...Tuesday...crossed over the Mackinac Bridge....had Mackinac pasties....you guys from up this way...you know what they are...was the first time for my GrandParents to taste them.....they thought that they were..."...different..."....they still can't get over how beautiful it is up here...will not be my turn to drive....so will be able to cam once again and show how beautiful the peninsula is....my Grand Mom...she is taking pics to create an album later on....was a suggestion ...by a member of OP from Georgia......who said it would be nice to view...in case someone missed seeing it on cam ....zeb....
..right now...6:45 Central time...Tuesday...sitting in my bedroom...on my own computer....the most beautiful thing happened...while driving the Mackinac Penisula....my GrandParents were so overwhelmed by the beauty...that they asked if they could stop and sit and look at Lake Superior....I was driving...we were just about to cross the state line into Wisconsin..asked them if they could hold off just a little...and I would bring them to the most beautiful site in the world....they said Ok...crossed the state line into Wisconsin...and got onto Rte 13...when we were mid point between Bayfield and Cornucopia...stopped the car..the sun ..it was just setting over Lake Superior...and the Apostle Islands...have no idea where the sun came from as it was cloudy most of the way there...got two lawn chairs from the back...set them up for my GrandParents. to sit in..and then went back to sit in the car....was talking to my Mom...on the phone...telling them where we were and at what time we would be arriving...happen to look in the rear view mirror...saw my GrandParents holding hands...and my GrandDad...lean towards my GrandMom...and kiss her...hard the hugest smile in my whole life...let them sit there for about an hour.....was cold...so cold...but it did not seem to matter...when I saw them stand...and walk towards the car...went out...picked up the chairs...and put them back in the car....they were still holding hands....we drove home....zeb
...right now.....about 6AM Central Time...Wednesday...good morning to ya...have been up since about 4AM....went for a walk..looked around...am now headed downstairs...to help make breakfast for everyone...woe is them....woe is them..cause I can not cook....hope everyone has a nice Christmas Eve....and a nice Christmas....and better rest of the year...zeb
....P.S....hey..if you guys get a chance...maybe you will find time to watch a movie on television...saw it about 40 times already...nice...the name of it is ...POLAR EXPRESS...tells everyone in one word ...what Christmas is all about...worth the time...zeb.
|
|
|
18
Comments
|
|
|
..some times the words...they just don
|
Dec 14, 2008 8:09 pm
5518 Views
|
.....how many times have you heard the words....."...stand up...stand on your own two feet...anybody can make it alone.."..how many times have those words been spoken to you...this afternoon..the day before finals begin here at school....put on my Baltimore baseball cap....my John Deere hooded sweatshirt....my Levi button ups...my unlaced brown Timberland boots....and walked along the River Charles here in Cambridge....after walking for what seemed an eternity...sat my body down on the cold ground and leaned my back against a tree...looking at the river flow...and the beautiful sky above.....right at that moment could have been anywhere in or out of the world...anywhere my mind allowed me to be....the Pyramids...travelling with the Enterprise through Space...in someone's arms....but in reality was sitting here on the cold ground thinking about being home in Wisconsin next week ...thinking about Family...thinking about friends...thinking about places....my heart was pounding....my thoughts were wandering in every direction....was whispering secrets to the wind....slowly ....could feel the moment slipping away from me....could feel by hands ..in my jean pockets ...fisting up....could see my feet kicking the now hard earthen ground..scarring it and feeling bad for doing so....could feel the smile in my eyes...slipping away.......not suppose to be like this.....not suppose to be like this....not supposed to be like this...whispered in my mind...it is Christmas time.....a time when all one's dreams come true.....oh why...can't they see that it is Christmas time and is not supposed to be like this ....dunno...dunno...just dunno.....rising to my feet....taking my hands out of my jean pockets...closing my eyes for a second.....and slowly...ever so slowly....began walking as tears fell from my eyes....going forward and not wanting to look back....everything which have always dreamed about...was so close....feeling ..and hoping... that all people realize that ......all could be yours....all should be yours...all would be yours.. ...if you believe ...and take one step at a time....its like learning to walk as an infant....it is like falling in love...it supposed to happen for everyone......and it is going to happen for everyone...that is Christmas...it is for all........looking at the river flow by me...began to realize as to how many times ...on this site called OP....that I have seen or heard about a hand reach out to another....and see it completely ignored for some unknown reason.....and hope in my heart...that somewhere...that there is a higher entity who understands the reason behind it all.....and walking and thinking...smiled as I thought...wouldn't it be nice....."..to make a little magic and before the night was through ..."...have everyone on this site...OP...shaking hands...and getting along with each other.........walk...walk...walk....think...think...think some more......realize as to how many times...on this site called OP....that had witnessed someone's enthusiasm and dreams crushed by another for some unknown reason....and once again hope that somewhere ...there is a higher entity who understands the reason behind it all..........stopping for a second...looked around....hopped the fence....walked towards the river...laid on my stomach..and let my hand dangle in the water as I had done so many times back home as a kid of 14 in a creek on the farm......someone shouted....."..hey fella...you OK..."...got up...turned around...and shouted back..."..yea...am OK...Merry Christmas...."..decided it was getting late..and decided to turn around and trek it back home......began thinking once again about the site OP...wondered ...as to how many times on this site...OP...has a heart been wounded....how many times has a smile turned to a frown...how many times has a friend turned against a friend ....how many times has a spoken word been misunderstood...how many times has a wink been ignored....how many times a misfortune of others was pretended to be cared about by others....how many times can an opposing army be formed to battle each other.......walking slowly...began to hum....a tune from B. Joel....
..."...This is the time to remember.
'Cause . it will not last forever.
These are the days to hold on to
"Cause we won't,although we want to.
This is the time,
But time is going to change....."
....yea..it is Christmas...time to be one.....time to hope and make even the wildest of dreams come true......time to believe in fairy tales....time to bring the little boy or girl out in you....time to smile....time to give of yourself...time to have others give to you.....
......and those of you who decide to look the other way....nobody to blame but yourself.....sort of like...boom de odda....boom de odda...man up...move on.....
.......MERRY CHRISTMAS....MAY EVERYONE'S DREAM COME TRUE......
|
|
|
15
Comments
|
|
|
....youth.........vs.........experience...
|
Dec 3, 2008 6:31 pm
5447 Views
|
|
...was sitting in my three hour lab class this afternoon...10 students.....2 profs....one assistant.....my lab setup...kinda close to the profs area.....the class was about half way through..............the assistant...he was sort of browsing around the room....watching....and taking notes on how we were dealing with procedures....... tending to my business...as usual......when someone walked pass me and into the area where the profs were...........kept right on doing what was expected of me......and at the same time...sort of listening to the student ...talking to the profs......."...sir.."....he said..."is it ok if I get to go outside for awhile....."...the prof answered......"...why would you want to do this..."....the student then said...."..am not having such a good day...can't keep my mind focused on what I am supposed to be doing....and I figured that if I got to go outside...the cool air...it would clear up my mind.....and then I would come back in and try a little harder to do what I had to do...."...both profs...they just looked at the guy.....not saying anything.....the guy...he understood...and went back to his station....looked at the guy for awhile...looked like he could have used that break....then behind me...I heard the profs beginning to talk....one said to the other....."...hell...if ...I got to go outside...I would just keep on walking....beautiful out there...."...I turned around...looked at them....looked out the window....they were right...was a beautiful day out....I smiled....
|
|
|
19
Comments
|
|
To link to this blog (143wildcat143) use [blog 143wildcat143] in your messages.
|
|
|
| Sun |
Mon |
Tue |
Wed |
Thu |
Fri |
Sat |
| |
|
1
|
21
|
3
|
4
|
5
|
6
|
7
|
8
|
9
|
10
|
11
|
12
|
13
|
14
|
15
|
16
|
17
|
18
|
19
|
20
|
21
|
22
|
23
|
24
|
25
|
26
|
27
|
28
|
29
|
30
|
|
|
|
|
