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Uprooted
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Oct 19, 2010 10:26 am
2730 Views
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“If it were up to me I’d buy this land from you and put it in your niece and nephew’s name” Mike’s dad stated as my blood ran cold. Mike had promised this property to his niece and nephew when he dies. “And what are you going to do with all your stuff? I hope you’re not just going to give it away.”
I finished the dishes as quickly as I could and headed out to the garage. My heart was pounding its way out of my chest. FAHQ! Mike’s family sees me as a gold digger out to rob their niece and nephew of their inheritance. I should have seen this coming.
Not sure how long I stayed in the garage before coming back inside. My legs felt as though they were filled with concrete as I climbed the ramp to the back door but I knew I’d have to face his dad sometime.
“Shit, you could hardly stand up inside that first camper we had up here.” Mike’s dad laughed as I hung my jacket. “Guess this will be the last year I’ll be able to hunt.”
“Now, dad,” Mike began, “you know you’ll always be welcome to hunt on your son-in-law’s land…”
I was relieved when Mike and his dad left to check on their deer stands. His dad’s girlfriend (Mike’s mom died in 2003) stayed behind with me.
“Yeah, I couldn’t believe it when Mike told me he was going to sell this place.” I began feebly. “He’s put so much into it – all the landscaping and such…”
She just shook her head and half smiled. “How’s he doing?” she finally asked glancing out the window.
“Good, good… well… his walking is getting worse.”
“This place is too much for him.” A worried look crossed her face.
“Yeah, yes it is…” I stammered.
“Moving is a lot of work.” She looked directly at me. “What are you going to do with all of Mike’s stuff?”
“Well I know Mike’s dad doesn’t want us to just give it away but if we can’t sell it, we really can’t afford to store it either.”
“Yeah, storage can be expensive if its stuff you’re never going to use it again anyway.”
“Yeah, yes it is…” I stammered. “I’m still holding out hope that we can rent this place.”
“Oh renting is no good.” She shook her head. “Renters will destroy your property.”
“Maybe, but there are an awful lot of families up here who make decent money but have lost their homes due to balloon payments or whatever and will never own another home. Plus it would allow Mike to retain the equity he’s built up.”
“So how much will you get for this place?” She asked.
“Not much. I mean, by the time the realtor gets her fees and we pay off what Mike still owes…”
“Oh, he took a loan out on this property?”
“Yeah. I thought he only had seven years left to pay on it but according to the bank he’s got 15 years left.”
The blood drained from her face and she began searching out the window for Mike and his dad to return. I didn’t go into the details because I don’t really know what Mike used that money for. I suppose he used it for landscaping, materials for the two decks he built, having that huge 2 car garage moved in, to purchase his Volkswagen and probably to pay off some bills. Regardless of which, it’s really none of my business – or anyone’s for that matter. It was his money to do with as he pleased. What I regret is everyone’s assumption that this is the last liquid asset Mike has and I’m the gold digger getting it all out of him.
Mike’s dad’s deer stand wasn’t sturdy enough for another year (the trees that support it are dead). Luckily he’s all excited about buying a portable deer stand – the kind with replaceable screens so you can just shoot right through them without opening them first. He even picked out the location and marked it with sticks. I took the shovel and leveled the ground for him.
“Oh that’s good enough,” He grunted. “My girlfriend has a rug I can put down anyway.”
We watched Mike give his dad’s girlfriend one last tour of the property on his Turf Cruiser (she won’t be coming up for deer hunting nor anytime before we sell).
“Sounds like that thing needs transmission fluid. Hasn’t he checked that?” Dad asked.
“He’s usually pretty good about stuff like that but… I don’t really know… I suppose I should be more on top of him.” I stammered.
Back at the homestead, Mike and his dad worked on fixing our axe (the blade keeps coming off).
“When did you get that saw?” his dad gazed into the corner of the garage.
“Oh that? I’ve never used it.” Mike said. “If you want it, it’s yours.”
Before they left, Mike’s dad shook my hand. As I let go, he squeezed my hand again and smiled back at me.
“That’s huge.” Mike informed later. “It means he likes you.”
Last night in the hot tub Mike made the statement that his family was weird.
“No. Not weird.” I countered. “They’re just worried about you Mikey. I mean, there’s a lot more temptation in La Crosse… what with all the gay bars… I mean, what if my career takes off again or my books become huge? (And yes, I realize very few people ever get rich off their first books. Even Stephan King and Anne Rice didn’t become huge until they established a following, third or fourth book, and they are the lucky ones. God knows how many other authors of equal caliber are still virtual unknowns. btw, the release date of my first novel "Username: 7mark8" is November 5th WOO-HOO!!!) And what if I suddenly dumped you for a mindless twink willing to cater to my every whim…”
“Wait.” Mike interrupted. “Is that how you think I feel about you – like you’re a mindless twink who caters to my every whim?”
“No. I don’t Mikey. First of all, I’m no longer a twink. Secondly, I actually get a perverse thrill out of helping you do stuff… But this may be how your family views me. I mean, think about it. Why were they so happy you found someone again? Were they really happy for you or were they more relieved because now they don’t have to come up here and help you out so much, i.e. Mark can do it. Mike’s got him wrapped around his little finger. Whew - we're off the hook. But now that we’re moving to a place where there will be more temptation, they are probably fearful that you’ll be left on your own again and they’ll have to resume taking care of you.”
“Well I know my sister was upset when I mentioned doing a garage sale over deer hunting weekend. She wants to come up here and relax – not be put to work.”
“And that’s the way it should be. Your family’s final deer hunting weekend up here should be carefree. I can help you get ready for the move just fine without their help.”
“I love you Marky.” He smiled solemnly.
“I love you too Mikey.”
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A Violation of Trust
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Sep 8, 2010 10:19 am
2546 Views
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A commenter on my last blog accused me of violating trust by publishing a book which includes the comments of others. I assured him that I take great lengths to protect the identities of everyone I interact with by changing names/usernames and deleting/altering any personal information about them. I have also painstakingly rewritten each comment in my own words so as to avoid plagiarism. Furthermore, the blogs to be published were deleted from the internet in 2008 (under advisement from my divorce lawyer) so there is no physical way to trace these blogs back to their origin or to decipher the identity of anyone who may have commented. Im also publishing my book as fiction - not an autobiography so legally, all my bases are covered. But what about morally?
To me, a violation of trust would be something I communicated to someone in private and they went public with it. But blogging is a public forum. I feel any comments I post are the property of the blog writer and are therefore his/hers to do with as they please. Would I consider it a violation of trust if someone published a book containing comments I posted to their blog? Not as long as they didnt identify me or take what I wrote out of context. But what about you? How do you boys feel about this.
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6
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Funk
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Sep 6, 2010 12:46 pm
2108 Views
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Not sure why Im in such a funk lately. I should be ecstatic. My book is about to be published, Mike and I will be moving closer to my kids and Ive got every reason in the world to celebrate. Its probably just this sore throat thing I caught from a co-worker. My whole body aches. And for some reason Mikes dads voice keeps going off in the back of my mind it doesnt take long to let property run down Mike. It makes me wonder if this wasnt part of the reason Mike agreed to give up his property here. Im really not much help to him. I mean, I dont look at a flowerbed and say to myself oh, that needs weeding. I look at flowerbeds as just another annoying obstacle I have to mow and weed whip around.
Thursdays meeting with the court commissioner went well. Once Mike and I move to La Crosse we will have shared custody of the children. I called Neatnic to hit him up for work at his bar. He doesn't need anyone at the moment so I told him about my book. Mike and I met him for dinner before leaving town. I guess thats where my funk started. Mike and Neatnic hit it off splendidly while I just sat there like a third wheel. It wasnt their fault - I just couldn't keep up to their conversation.
Well lets see your book. Neatnic finally motioned to my laptop. He looked at the cover but never read anymore than that. Am I in the book? He asked like a schoolboy anxious to find out if hed made the baseball team.
My blood ran cold. Well, there is a character based on you. But this really isnt a true story. I lied.
Whats his name? Neatnic asked.
Again I hesitated before responding. In my book I call him Nick.
Neatnic smiled with approval but I doubt very much hes going to like what I wrote about him. I wrote that I get the impression he really doesnt enjoy sex - that he merely does it because
well
thats what gay guys do. Not sure what Im worried about though. Neatnic isnt a reader. The only way hell ever read what I wrote about him is if someone else brings it to his attention.
Can I hang posters for my book in your bar? I asked.
Sure. Neatnic replied. But there again, I had to wonder how much good that would do. Very few of the guys I run into in gay bars appear to be readers. The best I can hope for is that they think the cover would look nice on their coffee table lol. Why dont we go to my bar next? Ill buy you a drink there. Neatnic offered.
I tried not to cringe as we walked in. My wifes gay cousin had the hottest guy in the joint engaged in an exceptionally animate conversation.
Does he look like the guy I wrote about? I asked as I pointed him out to Mike.
Ummm
Yeah. Mike lied. Hes very attractive
but a drunk.
Hes actually in pretty good form tonight - not too mad. How can you tell hes a drunk? I asked.
I can see it in his eyes.
I ran into the hottie my wifes gay cousin was chatting with a little while later in the bathroom. Our eyes locked but I just stared at him like a deer caught in headlights. It was as if Id forgotten how to act. I was making him nervous. Two years ago Id probably have launched into some nervous talking spree
OMG! Your eyes are insane! Are they really that blue or are they colored contacts? (open mouth, insert foot)... Amazing how my indiscretions never seem to bother my tricks. Thats probably because it gives us something to talk about other than the sexual tension between us.
What bothered me about that little episode isn't the fact that I failed to seduce a potential looker. Mike would have been thrilled to do a three-way with him. What bothers me is that I seem to have lost my lust for it. Oh well. Im sure Ill snap out of my funk as soon as I kick this stupid cold/sore throat thing.
Happy Labor Day dudes!!!
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I always thought he was crazy but now I see Mike's nuts...
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Aug 30, 2010 11:00 am
2259 Views
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Well, here I am soaking in the hot tub. And yes, I am naked. Wish you boys were here (hehe).
Mike is off to Minneapolis for a doctors appointment. Then hes headed over to his dads to stay overnight. I should have gone with him but he and his dad have a lot to talk about. I have a lot to think about too.
My publisher thinks the eye patch/frontal Speedo shot on my book cover is disembodied and makes it feel like we are randomly trying to insert sexual imaging (well, duh. Its a sexy book). But
if I want this thing to appear in ALL types of book stores, I should probably go back to the drawing board.
Beyond that, my meeting with the Custody Assessment Team (CAT) on the 23rd did not go well. They are going to recommend to the court that the children stay with their mother and that one of my every other weekends with my kids should be spent in La Crosse. This is a problem for two reasons; 1.) I work weekends and will have to either quit my job or let them fire me, and 2.) Mikes truck isnt going to last long with all that driving back and forth.
On top of all that, my children were staying with us all week (hence the reason I need time now to think - I was too busy trying to not let the CATs decision ruin my one week out of the whole summer with them). This has been especially difficult as Mike has been on an anti-gay witch hunt ever since the 23rd. He even went so far as to barge into the CAT leads office.
Shame on you for your recommendation. You are anti-gay and you are trying to break me and Mark up. This whole assessment is a farce he shook his finger at her.
And shame on you for not letting Mark speak for himself she responded.
I dont know whether to love Mike for trying to be my knight in shinning armor or hate him for ruining whatever chance I have of swaying the judge my way at our hearing on September 2nd.
When I got home from work Saturday night
or
I should say, Sunday morning, I found a card waiting for me on the kitchen table. It reads as follows:
Mark,
I want to love you more and more each day. I think we should sell and move to La Crosse!
Love,
Mike
Not sure how long I stood in the kitchen, holding this card and feeling my throat tighten around an exceptionally huge lump. I was afraid to breathe. The 40 acres we live on has been Mikes own private slice of heaven since 2000. Even if he does manage to sell it in this economy with the housing market bottoming out, well barely make enough to cover what he still owes on it. And where will we go then? Is Mike really prepared to give all of this up to go live in some tenement slum in La Crosse? I think the injuries to his brain from his accident might have been a bit more severe than any of us suspected (bad joke).
And how can I let him do this just so I can be closer to my children? More to the point, how can I (or his dad) talk him out of it? Once Mike makes up his mind about something it usually becomes a reality. Hes already talked to the neighbor who sold him this property. The neighbor has a son who has been living in their grandmothers renovated garage with his wife. They both have jobs now and have been looking for a place of their own. This is the perfect opportunity for them
To be honest with you, I dont know what to think. That nagging little voice in the back of my mind keeps saying see how you fuck up everyones lives once you become involved with them Mark!?!?!
All I can answer that with is my book had better be HUGE!
Below is the revised cover. Any thoughts?
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Lunatic Fringe
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Aug 3, 2010 9:06 pm
2194 Views
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I had my final meeting with the Custody Assessment Team (CAT) on Monday. Basically, its a team made up of a child psychologist, a Guardian Ad Litem (lawyer representing my children) and a lead coordinator. I didnt blog about my initial meetings because I thought this whole custody battle was just foolish pipe dreams. My case is based on the fact that my children are being raised by their 72 year old grandmother. I told the CAT from the start that I believe children belong with their mother but when their mother is shirking that responsibility onto her mother (the 72 year old grandmother) then thats when the father needs to step in.
The first meeting focused on the drama between my wife and I before we separated (yawn). The second meeting focused on things I could do to make our current situation better for the children (as if I haven't already tried their suggestions a thousand times before). Several play dates with my children, the child psychologist, Mike and I took place but to be honest with you, I never had a good feeling about any of it until now. I thought Mike and I were just throwing our money out the window again ($4,000 is the fee for the CATs services). Needless to say, I was totally unprepared for Monday's meeting.
Yes Mark, we understand all the reasons WHY you think the children would be better off in your care but what were not hearing from you is that you REALLY want them the coordinator charged.
I held her gaze for several moments before letting my eyes fall to the floor well, I guess I was afraid of getting my hopes up I shook my head.
Now, I know this next part is going to sound flakey as hell but I swear, it was as if a burst of energy suddenly filled the otherwise stale and lifeless room. Both the lawyer and child psychologist seemed to be smiling at me and
well
it was as if I was no longer in control of my own mouth.
If I could come home to my children every night after work again
Id be in heaven
HI THERE, HEY YOU! theyd always shout when I walked through the door
and then of course, theyd all be clamoring for my attention at the same time
which is hard because
well
which one do I talk to first? You know? I mean, I usually just say something like Ok, Ok, kids. One at a time but that doesnt really work
Do you know what I mean? The tears burning hot trails down my cheeks were making me self conscious again. I stared at the floor for a long time before looking up. I expected them to be looking at me as if I were some sort of crazed lunatic. I was wrong. They were all smiling
well
except for the coordinator.
Have you and Mike talked about how things would change if the children came to live with you the coordinator spoke sternly.
Oh sure, weve talked about
well
some things
I faltered but held the coordinators gaze firmly this time.
Well, youd better start talking to each other about them she smiled at last
__________________________________
OMG dudes! I think Im actually going to be awarded custody of my children!!!
My court date is the 23rd. Keep your fingers crossed for me? Please?
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Anticipation
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Jul 21, 2010 10:17 am
1831 Views
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It has only been a week since my publisher handed off my manuscript to an editor. Now Im discovering via the authors discussion group that it will be between 8 to 10 weeks before I see a galley proof. I approve all the editors edits - which is good. I just hope they dont change my story too much or require any re-writes. If not, and everything goes as planned, my book should be available from Dreamspinner Press by mid to late September.
My publisher is also asking for my website because I refer to it on the last page of my book where my wife invites Mike and I to spend Christmas Eve with her and the kids. She has a boyfriend now and everything goes better than expected (no drama. WO-HOO!). On the way out the door, my wife grabs my arm and asks Whats going on here? Why is Mike being so nice? Whats up your sleeve? I say; Nothing. This was just a pleasant evening then observe how much more attractive she would be if she let go her fear. The last line reads I hope Mark (her new boyfriend) can help her to realize this. God knows I never could.
This seemed the perfect ending to my book but toyed with having a comment from the System Administrator stating; Well this is embarrassing. Our site is currently off line. Please log on to ____________ to interact with the author. Then readers could go to my website and read the epilogue as a blog that they could comment on. Any thoughts regarding this idea?
But since my cover has yet to be approved, it's kind of hard designing a website around it. Below is the cover design I proposed. What do you boys think? Would this cover grab you if you saw it in a Barnes and Noble?
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I write like a girl?!?!?
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Jul 17, 2010 10:33 am
1690 Views
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Amazing how technology can produce subjective results. I plugged a sample of my writing into a gender guessing widget and it assessed that I am an informal female and a formal weak female. Then in parenthesis it defined weak as European. I actually had to check if my nuts were still intact.
Another widget assesses which popular author you write the most like. I write like Anne Rice. Hmmm
Anne Rice is a girl but in my eyes she has more balls than any male author Ive ever read. Her Sleeping Beauty series proves this as there is no aspect of human sexuality she overlooks. WOOF!!! (pant, pant
) Reading this series actually caused me to have wet dreams again (I was 30 at the time). Interesting, so maybe writing like a girl isnt such a bad thing?
If interested, here are links to the sites that test your gender and which author you write the most like:
Gender Guesser (http://outpersonals.com#Analyze). And if the OP screws up this link just google Hacker factor gender guesser
The I write like
website is (http://outpersonals.com) and since this is a widget the url is a little bit different. Type in iwl (dot) me
Enjoy!
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The Pecking Order
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Jul 2, 2010 5:37 am
1656 Views
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Every group needs a leader. And it is not uncommon nor is it considered unacceptable for dominant personalities to verbally attack the weakest minded individual in a group to establish his/her dominance. While this can be upsetting to interested members, the act does serve a purpose. It gives other dominant personalities within the group the opportunity to challenge the wannabe leader in a battle of wills so to speak.
OK. I get it. Ive been dealing with this shit in the world of advertising for the past twenty years. I guess thats why my current job at a local resort has been so refreshing. Its a shit job and everyone who works there has a shitty job. We all accept this and so we do everything in our power to make our shitty little jobs fun. I actually look forward to going into work
well
up until last night that is
Paul is the new guy. Ive worked with him before but just assumed that the chip on his shoulder was due to the fact that he was trying to impress us. Last night I saw a totally different side of him. The owner of the resort was there and Paul used every opportunity imaginable to make himself look good at my expense. When the owner complained of dishes not being cleaned, Paul explained to me right in front of our boss that the machine we use is a sterilizer, not a dishwasher, as if I hadn't been the one to explain this to Paul on the first day. Then, a little while later we received an order for broasted chicken. We've been out of chicken breast for the past couple of days and have been substituting boneless chicken breasts (as per direct order from the owner).
"I CAN'T USE THIS!" Paul whined.
Then the owner attacked me with "We just received a shipment. There are two cases of chicken out in the walk-in cooler. Go clean them and give one breast to Paul right away for this order..." (don't ask me why the day cooks didn't take it upon themselves to clean this chicken for the evening rush).
Then as I was cleaning the chicken to marinate in the "broasted chicken marinate solution" Paul walked by and said "Don't we usually put those in the larger containers?"
I didn't bother telling him that the smaller containers were for the leftover chicken that was already in the cooler and that the larger containers needed to be washed and sterilized for the new. I simply said "Good idea."
Anyway, Paul is turning out to be a complete social vampire. I was totally drained the whole night. To make matters worse, I couldn't sleep last night either.
Are you angry at Paul or are you angry because you didnt stand up for yourself? Mike asked me this morning.
What am I supposed to say Mike? Oh Paul, why dont you go add some more Vodka to your Mountain Dew? In a normal environment this would be grounds for dismissal but here, the owners an alcoholic too. I feel like I'm the outsider there Mike. I'm an outsider because I'm not a druggie or an alcoholic.
Mike just blinked his large blue eyes at me.
I guess Im angry because Ive gone out of my way to be nice to Paul and hes using my niceness to assert himself as the 'White Knight' in our bosses' eyes I threw up my hands.
Well. What are some ways that you could advance your career at the resort? Mike asked.
Oh good Lord Mike. I dont want to advance at the resort. Im just biding my time there until my book deal comes through.
BTW
a publisher has requested a full version of my manuscript!!! If youre not familiar with the publishing process, heres how it goes; publishers dont have time to read everything that comes across their desk so
you send them a query letter, a brief synopsis of the book, a bio of your writing qualifications and the first two chapters. Then, if theyre interested, theyll request the full manuscript. THIS IS HUGE!!! And I am sooooo excited about that. But until I get an actual contract to sign, Ill be stuck working at the resort with Paul. I'm scheduled to work with him all the way through this weekend. FAHQ!
So, my question for you today is; How would you deal with this Paul situation?
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To link to this blog (7mark8DreamWever) use [blog 7mark8DreamWever] in your messages.
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