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The Golden Egg
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Apr 13, 2009 3:11 pm
919 Views
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I took my kids to church Easter Morning (Okay, okay
you can pick your jaws up off the floor now
). And yes, part of it was to win brownie points with Mikes sister (she very graciously let all 6 of us stay with her Saturday night) but mostly it was because I wanted my kids to see first hand what church is all about. I still have some hang ups about exposing them to fear based religion(s) but I dont want them growing up ignorant of them and the power they have over people either
Mikes family is Catholic (Okay, okay
you can quit rolling over in your grave now Mom
) I never really did understand all the animosity between Catholics and Lutherans from what Ive seen its all pretty much the same pomp and circumstance Catholics just do it with a bunch of awkward kneeling and hand gestures. Oooo
and CONFESSION!!! Ill never forget the time my friends mom forced him and his older brother to go to confession on the way back to their house one afternoon. His older brother returned to the car all pale-faced Father (insert Irish surname here) asked me if I played dirty with myself. Ill let you imagine the amount of shit we gave him about that (hehe)
Anyway, my oldest daughters watched the Catholic service without scrutiny while my boys seized every opportunity imaginable to wriggle free from Mike and my clutches (Thank God for the babes & brides rooms) We didnt even attempt to make a spectacle of ourselves by sitting in the pews. I was tempted to tell my kids the joke my dad always told me He who farts in Church sits in his own pew Amazing how funny that stupid joke becomes when youve got big ol Berth Better-than-yous ass staring you right in the face. OK, now imagine that big ol ass with her best Easter dress wedged up her crack
Not sure why Mike tried explaining what Easter Sunday was all about from a religious perspective (Christ dying for our sins on the cross and rising from the dead 3 days later to prove that there really is life after death
). My middle daughter just rolled her eyes we already know about that Mike.
Oh yes. Im sorry. I keep thinking youre younger than you are. But have you heard about the mind, body and spirit
I have no idea what youre talking about.
Well
you know
you feed your body with food and exercise; feed your mind with books, school, the internet and as much information as you can possibly find right? Well
church is how many people feed their soul
I attempted feebly.
(Blank stares).
Mom says church is a way to keep people in line or else theyll go to hell. My oldest daughter interjected.
Well, I think your mom is right. Mike smiled. Many people look at God as a sort of Santa Clause in that if youre not good, you wont receive any presents.
(smirks and laughter)
But thats not true, Gods love is unconditional. Do you know what unconditional means?
My middle daughter again rolled her eyes.
This is actually kind of boring. My oldest daughter interrupted.
Yes this is boring. I laughed finally letting little Benny down to run free. But church can also be comforting for people who are coping with bad things in their lives especially things they cant control like a sudden death, loss of a home or tragedy
addictions...
So its a good thing. My oldest daughter quantified.
Well
yes
but it can also be a bad thing when people use religion to judge or condemn others who dont subscribe to their same beliefs
Can we go now Dad? her eyelids fluttered.
Yeah, we can go. Several members of the congregation were already sending disdainful looks our way as Bennys fists slapped against the thick glass window separating us from them (apparently the Babes and Brides rooms arent completely sound proof).
But it wasnt an entirely guilt infested weekend. The Easter egg hunt Mike and his Dad planned was a riot!!! I FOUND THE GOLDEN EGG! I FOUND THE GOLDEN EGG!! I FOUND THE GOLDEN EGG!!!
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12
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Inside Out
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Apr 8, 2009 4:19 pm
846 Views
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I havent been this exited about starting a new project since college when that male model with a 10 dick dropped his robe in my Life Drawing class! WOOF!!! (pant, pant
)
Mikey mentioned having me write his life story the first time he invited me up to his place (said he liked my writing style in my blogs here). Well
Ive finally got my arms around it or at least an angel on it. Below are the (proposed) opening paragraphs
_________________
I never saw the preacher in the flying station wagon coming at me; never felt my air bag exploding into my chest splintering my ribs and bruising my heart, never felt the tempered steel of the wagon graze and crush my skull nor did I feel my bones popping and breaking through my skin... I was simply on my way to work and my mind was flooded with thoughts about Terry.
Ahhhh
my kind, generous and loveable Terry
Probably the hardest part about long distance relationships is the anticipation of our next meeting, the excitement and enthusiasm of the next phone call, the acceptance of the distance between us and making the most of the little time that we actually have together. Yet to see Terrys new pick up in that shimmer of effervescent sunlight as he pulled up in front of my house was nothing short of a dream. I slammed the door behind me and raced to greet him. And what a beauty that truck of his was too. Nothing special I suppose just another Black Ford Ranger. But this was Terrys truck his new baby. And the real beauty was in the pride and joy he took in it.
Hellooooo. Terry smiled mischievously.
I greeted him with a hug. Good to see you again Ter
but Im late for my appointment. Not sure what the appointment was for exactly just knew that I needed to see a doctor. And as we drove, the sunlight poured through the windows of his truck in a hazy
almost cloud like way. Terry, this isnt my doctors office!?!?! I quarried bemusedly as he pulled up to the Hospital entrance. His smile just broadened and as it did, the sunlight through the windows engulfed me, heightened my senses and
SPOKE?!?!?
MIKE! Can you hear me? came a voice that sounded like moms.
Hello Mike! Dads voice was unusually soft. My eyes darted around the room to see who all was there. I tried taking in all the smiling faces but an intense pounding had taken hold of my brain.
Do you know who we are Mike? Mom asked.
I focused on the person most directly in my line of sight. It pained me to see the look of concern on my niece Jessies 10 year old face. Her normal self assured confidence was gone. I wanted to hold her and tell her everything was alright
but all I could do was to wink at her. Jessie smiled and I felt a wave of relief fill the entire room. Smiles and tears were forming on everyones face.
Oh Mike, youve given us all a scare here. My sister Cindy laughed through her tears. You were in a car accident Mike. Do you remember anything about it?
_____________________
Granted Mike and I are still squabbling over the tone and some details; but damn!!! Im finally going to have a writing sample that I can actually show future clients/employers. But more than that, Im getting to know Mike inside and out through this process not to mention each of his previous partners
and thats a little bit scary because Im finding out more than I really need to know about both of them. And
of course, some of it is the kind of stuff they most likely will not want published. But its necessary for me to know as much about their motivations at that particular point in time in order to write their characters believably
Anyway, this is whats going on with me. As I said earlier, Mike and I are still squabbling over the tone and some details. Mike says my style may be too Hollywood and quite right. I do come from an advertising background and so Im naturally big on hype. Plus, the only creative writing books Ive really read are How to Write a Successful Screen Play. But
well get it all ironed out. Maybe you could help us by critiquing what weve written so far. If these were the opening paragraphs of a book, would you continue reading?!?!?
____________________________
Oh, and for those of you who haven't received an email response from me - I can't open my emails again. Not even the ones from paid members who allow non-paying members access. This site is soooo fucked - or wait... i should have wrote "FAHQED!!!"
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7
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Compliments
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Mar 30, 2009 3:08 pm
823 Views
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Excellent show dude(s)! Lots of energy! I offered as Mikey introduced/re-introduced me to several of the Twin Cities Gay Mens Chorus members (we were shooting video for them again this weekend).
Tried not to let their startled looks which gradually trailed off to the distance hit me like a punch in the gut. God knows Im not the most gracious at accepting compliments either
According to http://outpersonals.com Learn to say Thank You regardless of if the compliment is sincere; and never feel compelled to return the compliment immediately just dont forget the compliment when the time comes for you to give one yourself
Thats where I go wrong Im constantly racking my brain for an immediate return compliment. But these boys didnt even try to do that. They just blew right on past me into an introverted criticism of their own performance.
Oh, you guys are your own worst critics. Mikey smiled and patted them on their shoulder(s).
Still, I couldnt shake the looks they gave me as I tried to compliment them. Granted my lack of knowledge regarding choral discipline does pretty much de-merit any words I might offer
still, it wasnt so much the snob factor vibe that I was getting from these boys. Weird as this may seem, it almost felt as if they were scanning me for criticism. Why anyone in their right mind would be sensitive to anything I have to say is beyond me, but I think this runs deeper than that
Upon chatting with several of Mikes friends who dont support the TCGMC, their comments about the Chorus came across harsh and biting
The lack of female voices in the soprano section makes their sound less full
Theyre too cliché
I dont think their songs/sketches/choreography present an accurate description of gay men
Well you know what ladies? SUCK IT UP!!! Choral productions may or may not be your cup of tea (God knows I never thought Id become an advocate) but given the shortages of organizations dedicated to bridging diversity in such a fun and positive way GET OFF YOUR ASSES AND SUPPORT THEM!!! And if you TRULY DO have an aversion to choral groups then the least you could do is curb your own criticism and encourage others to experience the Chorus message... I mean
FAHQ!!! We, as gay boys, can be our own worst enemies at times. SHAME ON US!!!
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3
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FAHQ!!!
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Mar 25, 2009 10:19 pm
821 Views
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A married man on another site asked me a couple questions the other night. The first was what the hell does FAHQ mean ????? the second was i'm married and sure would like to know how you handled your obvious love and lust for guys while married........ Thank God for (insert name of other site here) - i reaally need it to get off....so how DID YOU HANDLE IT ? The following is my reply
I saw a bumper sticker with the word FAHQ on it. I immediately liked it partially because Im not a big user of profanity outside of the internet and gay speakeasys
and partially because it pretty much exemplifies how the boys from my home town talk long on the a and k sounds. When we say FUCK! it actually sounds more like FAHQ! I did a search for it on the internet. Seems to be some sort of extreme biker/hardass club (the OP doesnt allow hyperlinks so if youre really interested youll just have to google FAHQ)
I probably should have let it go at that but
well
you know me and my famous foot
As far as the being attracted to men while still married to a woman thing goes
its kind of a no win situation - you're constantly repressing your desires, glancing over your shoulder to make sure you didn't let any gay innuendos slip... It's a nightmare.
You may not believe this now but the best thing you can do for yourself is to tell your wife about your sexuality. Granted she will be upset - probably call you every name in the book... quite possibly throw things at you... maybe even kick you out of the house temporarily... but know this wives of gay men seldom "out" their husbands. They may threaten you with it but truth be known theyre generally more afraid of others finding out than you are. Think about it. What worse insult could there possibly be than having other people think she turned her husband gay LOL.
Eventually she will come to terms with your bi/homosexuality. But this wont happen over night and she will put you through hell until she finally gets there may even try to enroll you in a reform clinic (their success rate at converting gay people to straight is ZERO so dont even try to appease her by wasting your time or money on them)
Bottom line all of the divorced gay men that Ive met have left their wives of their own accord. I can almost guarantee you that your wife will want to work things out with you. Not sure why wives never want their gay husbands to leave - just one of Gods cruel little jests I guess
So
what do you think guys? Did I totally fuck him up? And please be brutally honest. This was the first time I ever really offered advice of this nature to anyone and Im kind of nervous about it.
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To link to this blog (7mark8DreamWever) use [blog 7mark8DreamWever] in your messages.
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