Light My Candle

"I'd be happy to die for a taste of what Angel had, someone to live for-unafraid to say i love you." mimi and joanne from RENT.

The Vampire Brian Returns Apr 19, 2009 4:57 pm
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"And just what the fuck is that supposed to mean?"Michael snarled into Brian's face. With a wicked grin on his face, Brian grasped Michael's hand to break his grip on his arm and merely said, "Woof, Woof." Michael was so shaken by the fact that this upright corpse could so effortlessly see his true inner self he froze not knowing how to procede. Seeing his indecision, Brian took the opportunity to peer into Michael's mind. Their close proximity to each other made it easy and their physical contact only helped. At first all he could see was the beast within: ripping claws and sharp, snapping jaws. He pushed the image aside with a little effort (and fear) and saw a woman's face. Obviously someone important to him to be so sharp in his mind's eye. But wait, he recognized this woman and plucked her name out his head. Melanie. The same woman he made a snack of not more than an hour ago. What a small world we live, he thought to himself. He saw all this in a blink of an eye and struck Michael open handed in the center of his chest sending him sailing through the air. Michael crashed into a table sending drinks and the table's occupants scattering in all directions. Michael clutched at his chest trying to catch his breath. "I think you should be running along now. I believe your girlfriend needs you. Melanie...I think that's her name. Might have had a little accident, lost a little blood if you catch my meaning," Brian said sensing fear and defeat clouding Michael's resolve to continue this confrontation. "You fucking bastard...if you hurt her!!" Michael growled and got to his feet. He started away toward the exit to go find Melanie hoping Brian's words were a deception to avoid a fight but fearing the worse. While still in earshot Michael turned and said, "This isn't over!" Brian simply nodded his head realizing something big had been set in motion tonight. Not sure whether to embrace it or fear, Brian decided to just accept it for now. With Michael out of the way it was time for Brian to claim his prize. But where had the dark haired beauty disappeared to in all the chaos. Brian opened his mind and senses and allowed them to guide him toward his destiny. Outside, Michael was speeding away from the club toward Melanie's apartment a dozen or so blocks away. He groaned inwardly when he remembered how Justin had reacted when he saw Brian, that instant, unmistakable attraction. And he left him alone in the club with that predator without so much as a word of warning. Oh my God, what did i do, he thought to himself. Did i just sacrifice Justin to try to save Melanie who for all he knew might be dead already? Oh God, Oh God!! Maybe it wasn't too late. He plucked his cell phone out of his pocket and dialed Justin's number from memory. It rang once, twice, three times. It was picked up on the fourth ring. "Oh, thank fuck. Justin listen to me, you're in terrible danger..."Michael began when another voice besides Justin's interrupted, "I'm sorry. Justin can't talk right now. I'll be sure to tell him you called. Bye now." and the line went dead before Michael could say anything more. Michael went numb thinking Justin was dead and he didn't do anything to stop it. TO BE CONTINUED.
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it's been one full year since my last "relationship" a.k.a. urghhh!! Aug 22, 2007 4:11 pm
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And what i mean by relationship is sex, of course. It was August of 2006 and we'll say his name was Frank. He had a great little body and what he lacked in height he more than made up with cock size, both length and width. He was huge, maybe even too big if there is such a thing as being too big. Anyway we had been chatting for awhile on OP and i was whining about how hard it was for me to meet guys where i live. I had just gotten out of a long term relationship with a woman (holy shit, what was i thinking) and i think he was just showing pity on me when he asked if i wanted to meet him in person. i think i even put him off for a little while telling him i had to think about it. He was very patient and in the end i said yes. we met at a local mall to see if we clicked. I remember seeing him for the first time and thinking,"Wow, he's really cute." He had dark hair and dark eyes and i was just the tiniest bit taller than him. And he was born in Portugal and had a thick accent which caught me off guard a little bit. Not that it mattered, i just wasn't expecting it. It was a little hard at first understanding him, i kept asking him to repeat things so i could hopefully catch his meaning on the second try. He probably thought i was hard of hearing always asking him to say things twice. but you eventually get used to it and then it's not an issue anymore. Our first date was actually very traditional. A little window shopping, a movie, conversation over a slice of pizza and then we went our seperate ways. I felt our first meeting went well, maybe not mad crazy love or fireworks going off but i like to think there are always possibilities. He must have felt the same way because we agreed to meet again the following week, this time at my place where we would have a little more privacy. But i think i'll continue this stroll down memory lane at some future time. To be continued...
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sexy christian guy a.k.a. yeah i'm gonna burn Jul 16, 2007 11:03 pm
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Hi gang at OP, it's been several months since i bothered to blog. just a combination of the "not much worth writing about blahs" and simple laziness. my last couple of blogs, which seems like an eternity ago, i guess i was trying to exercise my creative muscles with a little gay/gothic tale, sort of a gay Buffy the vampire slayer. but i guess i grew bored with it quickly. writing can be a very frustrating and tedious process and i guess i just don't have the patience or skill for it. in the meantime, i discovered the Here! network produced a series called Dante's Cove which i finally viewed recently on dvd. seasons 1 and 2 are on dvd and season 3 is coming out in october, i think. kinda the same concept but they went with witches and warlocks on a tropical island instead of vampires in NY. oh well, i never said my ideas were original. huh, nowadays nothing seems very original. everything is either a re-make of an old movie, re-make of a tv show, re-make of a foreign film, or a sequel. anywho, for what it's worth, i enjoyed Dante's Cove which surprised me because almost everything i read about it was negative. the acting and the dialogue aren't the best but if you like stories with a supernatural twist and lots of cute, half naked guys (and some full naked guys) then Dante's Cove is worth checking out. one other criticism is the seasons are way too short. i think season 2 was only like 5 or 6 episodes. anyway,that's not what i really wanted to write about tonight. i wanted to talk about the cute christian guy who rang my doorbell tonight. my doorbell rang at like 5:30P and i was like "aww who the hell can this be!!" i almost didn't bother to answer it but i'm sure glad i did. i opened the door and the cutest guy was standing on the other side. he was young, maybe early to mid 20's, with red hair and piercing blue eyes. he wore khakis and a unbuttoned white collared shirt just enough to see a few wisps of chest hair. i have always been attracted to guys with blonde or red hair and this guy was the whole package. now normally when these religious people come by i politely say "no thank you, i'm not interested," but not this time. i found myself answering questions on his survey taking turns looking into his beautiful blue eyes and then checking out the bulge in his khakis. and then after the survey he asked if it would be alright if he could come back some time and talk to me again for half an hour or so. now i've never had one of these religious door to door people ever ask to come back again but then i usually don't let them get that far into the routine. at this point my mind was saying "stop staring at him and drooling and send him away," but unfortunately another part of my body spoke up and said "sure, anytime would be fine." i couldn't believe the words were coming out of my mouth. so he asked for my first name and phone number and asked if friday would be ok and i was like "sure, terrific, see you then." why did i do that?? am i that lonely and pathetic that i would listen to all his religious prattle just to spend some time with this beautiful young man. i guess i am that pathetic because i did say yes. maybe i'll tell him i'm gay right up front and scare him off. he'll run away waving a cross at me and shouting, "Blasphemer!!" or maybe i'll just bite the bullet and hear what he has to say and try not to stare at his crotch. how do i get myself in these predicaments? i don't know what i'll do, i guess i'll just wing it and hope i don't make a fool out of myself. well i guess that's all for now. i hope to blog more frequently for anyone who exactually reads these, you know all three of ya.
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TVB: Eps. 4 Feb 18, 2007 5:04 pm
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Brian entered the dance club and checked his jacket at the door. He wore clothes that any 21 year old college student would wear even though he hadn't been in his 20's for quite a few decades. He was the perfect picture of a blonde surfer dude. His jeans were faded and ripped at the knees, another rip was high up in the back where his leg met his ass. He wore a rumpled, cotton white collared shirt untucked. The top couple of buttons were undone allowing a few stray, golden chest hairs to be seen. His blonde hair was shoulder length, more wavy than curly and his hazel eyes glittered in the flashing, swirling lights. He wore no jewelry or acsessories for they would detract from his natural beauty. Brian was a golden god.
And he had no shortage of worshippers to behold him. Heads turned to look at him, both men and women stopped what they were doing to drink in his beauty and whisper amongst themselves.
"Who is he?"
"I've never seen him before, I'd remember if i had."
"he's incredible. I've got to meet him."
He picked out these snippets of conversation here and there with his sensitive ears. Some cruder comments he plucked right out of people's minds not exactly sure where they emanated from because there were so many peolple around and mind reading was not an exact science.
He descended the half a dozen or so steps to the dance floor. He walked through the throng of bodies gyrating to the music. Hands of strangers reached out to him, touching him almost in reverence. One petite young girl came running up to him, grasped him about the neck and kissed him full on the lips. He returned the kiss and then she was gone. Giggling breathlessly to her girlfriends that she just couldn't help herself.
Then Brian saw him. He was a handsome young man standing at the bar with another man. This time it was Brian's turn to stop and stare. He had hair as black as night and piercing blue eyes. His build was athletic but not overly muscular. And he had this quiet "power" about him which he probably did not even know he possessed except on an subconscious level. Was this the one? The one that he sensed while he was still outside? His destiny? Brian didn't know but he trusted his instincts and was going to find out one way or the other.
"Oh, my God. He's coming this way." Justin said.
"Justin, calm down. He's probably just coming to get a drink. Why don't you go splash some water on your face before you hyperventilate." Michael said.
"Good idea. Will you be here when I get back?"
"No, I think i'm going to go over to Melanie's apartment and see if she's there." Micheal said.
"Do you want me to come with you?"
"No, stay here. With any luck I'll be right back with Melanie."
"Alright, keep in touch"
"i will. See you soon." Michael said. And they went thier seperate ways. Justin toward the men's room and Michael toward the entrance.
Now Michael and Brian were headed toward each other and the closer Michael got to Brian the more he picked up that strange smell he got a whiff of just minutes before but much stronger now. If he didn't know any better he would say it was the smell of rotting flesh. But how could that be, here of all places?
When he was within arms reach of Brian, Michael suddenly knew what the smell meant and where it was coming from. Without warning he grabbed Brian by the arm hard enough to swing him around and they stood face to face. Michael's hand had a vice like grip on Brian' upper arm. Brian tried to shake Michael off but was surprised by Michael's strength.
"What do you think you're doing?" Brian asked, disdain in his voice.
"We don't like your kind here. " Michael said. And then he pulled Brian close to him so he could whisper directly into his ear,"I know what you are."
"Is that right?" Brian asked. "Well then, it seems i'm not the only one here with a secret, am I?"
TO BE CONTINUED...
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TVB: EP.3 Feb 12, 2007 8:11 pm
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A dozen or so blocks away Melanie was roused from her slumber by the incessant ringing of her phone. In her current state she couldn't even tell if the ringing was real or part of her dreams. She tried sitting up but felt a nauseating wave of dizziness pass over her. She felt a throbbing pain on the right side of her neck. She lifted her hand to touch that area and found the skin there raw and tender. The phone had stopped ringing. The apartment was silent again She wondered what time it was. She had the nagging sensation she was supposed to be somewhere, supposed to meet someone for something?? But her thoughts were a jumble and no matter how hard she tried, she couldn't focus. The effort was too much for her and she slipped back into unconsciousness. She dreamed of a beautiful stranger and his long, sweet kisses.

"Where the fuck is she? She guilts me into coming here and she doesn't even bother to show up for her own birthday celebration." Justin shouted to be heard over the music. He turned off his cell and put it away in disgust.
"Justin, calm down." Michael said.
"Calm down? Michael, you're supposed to be her boyfriend. Don't you care...something might have happened to her. She might be hurt or..."
"Justin, she's a big girl. She can take care of herself. She probably met someone and is having a little birthday celebration of her own if you know what I mean. She's such a horndog."
"What?" Justin couldn't believe what he was hearing.
"Justin, Melanie and I have what one would call an open relationship. We're together but we see other people, no strings and no guilt. It works for us."
"Eeewww!!" Justin said. He couldn't believe Melanie was in a relationship like that. They really had grown apart over the last couple of years. He felt like he hardly knew her anymore.
"oh, Justin grow up." Michael said. He looked out over the dance floor. It was a nice mixed crowd tonight. Straight couples, girl/girl couples, boy/boy couples all dancing together. Everybody having a good time. No hang ups, no hostilties. If only the real world were like this.
"Justin, I don't mean to be crude, but you need to get laid...badly. I want you to go out there and find yourself a stud and beg him to fuck the shit out of you."
"How romantic," Justin said sarcastically. "But what about Melanie..."
"Let me worry about Melanie. Listen, if she's not here in the next 20 minutes i'll go looking for her. Would that make you feel better?"
"Yes, yes it would." Justin said feeling a little bit of his anxiety lift from his shoulders.
"Good that's settled." Michael said. "Now come over to the bar and get yourself a beer. you've got to loosen up, my friend."
They made their way to the bar and Justin was taking his second swig from his bottle of beer when he saw him. and the world stopped.
"Justin, are you ok? Are you sick?" Michael asked. Justin was frozen where he stood, his beer inches from his mouth. Michael turned to follow Justin's unblinking gaze and saw the object of Justin's attention...and desire. "Justin, pull yourself together, you're starting to drool. he's just a man like you and me."
"He's not a man, he's a golden god." Justin said starting to regain use of his faculties.
Michael took a sniff of the air around him and wrinkled his nose as if he smelled something bad. "A god, huh, or maybe the devil in the flesh." he muttered to himself.
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The Vampire Brian: episode 2 Feb 7, 2007 4:26 pm
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Justin jumped a little when his cell phone chirped at him from the counter top. It seemed unusually loud in the quiet of the library. Justin chided himself for being such a nervous nelly and snatched it up before it could ring again. If Mrs. Barlow, his miserable, spinster of a boss, caught him chatting on his cell he would definitely be in deep shit.
"Hello," Justin answered trying to keep his voice low.
"Whatcha doin'?" asked a familiar voice.
"Oh, Melanie, it's you. Listen i can't talk right now. I'm at work," he whispered into the phone.
"What's wrong? Why are you talking like that?" she asked.
"Like what?"
"Like an obscene phone caller with marbles in his mouth."
"Are you trying to get me fired?" he said a little too loudly.
"Oh boy, what crawled up your butt? Or is that the problem?" she teased.
"Melanie!!"
"Alright, alright. Just answer me one question and i'll let you go."
"What?" Justin asked, the exasperation clearly showing in his voice.
"You are going clubbing with us tonight, right? And before you answer, remember it is my birthday and how could i enjoy my birthday if you weren't there?"
Oh, shit, he thought. He totally forgot today was her birhtday.
"Listen, Mel, i don't think..."
"Justin, don't you dare crap out on me. You promised you would go and you're going. Between work and school, we never see each other anymore and i miss you. Besides, how do you expect to meet anyone if you never go out? You're destiny awaits...but you won't find it sitting on your ass, hiding behind books." She paused for a moment and then continued in a less stern tone,"Honey, you know i wouldn't say these things if i didn't care. I just worry about you. I want you to find your Mr. Right and raise a house full of cats or whatever gay guys do."
"I hate cats." Justin muttered in
to the phone.
"Alright, forget the cats. How about gerbils?" she teased.
"oh, God, I can't believe you just went there."
"What's a fairy fag hag for if she can't make a few gerbil jokes...I'll see you tonight then?"
"Yes, I'll be there. The library doesn't close till 11:00..."
"That's perfect. Things don't start to heat up until after midnight anyway. So, i'll see you later...and Justin, i do love you, you know."
"And I love you too, you nag."
"That's hag, not nag."
"Whatever. See you tonight."
"Bye."
Justin ended the call and turned off his phone. Great, an evening with Melanie and all her straight friends. Her friends were nice enough but he could tell they merely tolerated him because he and Melanie were so tight.
Shortly before midnight Justin arrived at the dance club after stopping home for a quick shower and a change of clothes. He stood outside for a few minutes mesmerized by the flashing neon signs. The pounding beat of the dance music assaulted his ears.
"This is where Melanie thinks i'll meet my destiny, my Mr. Right? I'll be lucky if i find Mr. Right Now." he muttered to himself. He took one last breath of the cold winter air and went inside to look for Melanie and the others.
And across the street blending into the shadows stood a strikingly handsome young man clad in a long, black leather jacket having similar thoughts about destiny. And Brian crossed the street...
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The Vampire Brian Feb 6, 2007 10:56 pm
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He released the grasp his teeth had on her throat and gently laid her down on the couch. She let out a little moan as she lay back and actually lifted a hand to the back of his head to coax his lips back to where they were. "no, no, my sweet, to take any more from you would result in an untimely death and you are much too precious to leave this earth so soon," he said. She smiled up at him, her eyes starting to glaze over from the blood loss. He never took enough to kill, just enough to satisfy his thirst temporarily. She tried to reach up to him again but her arm felt unusually heavy to her and she let it flop back down onto her chest. He bent down and whispered into her ear, " Sleep." and her eyes fluttered shut, her chest rising and falling steadily. He could tell she was already in a dream state by the way her eyes were dancing around beneathe her eyelids. He bent down to her ear once more. "Forget me...only remember you had one special night with a beautiful strange man you met on the subway," he said. She let out a soft sigh and a hint of a smile crossed her lips again as his words sunk into her dreaming mind.
He examined the wound on her throat and it was already healing nicely. He couldn't fathom the hows and the whys of it but the nearest he could figure is that there is something special in his saliva that helped speed up the healing process. By morning the bite wound would look like a really bad hickey she could show off to her friends tomorrow and try to recall her fading memories of the handsome stranger she spent the night with. He draped a blanket he found in the bedroom over her sleeping body and with a quick kiss on the forehead he was gone.
Outside it was bitterly cold and he slipped on his jacket. It was a long, black leather jacket nearly down to his ankles. He fancied it was as close to a cape he could wear without actually wearing a cape. He always remembered those old Hammer Dracula movies with Christopher Lee and Dracula always wore his signature black cape. But that was a different time and place. Wearing a cape in 2007 New York City would make him very conspicuous and that was the last thing he wanted.
The night was young and Brian had only one of his needs fulfilled so far. He reached out with his senses and that's when he heard it. The familiar thumpa-thumpa of dance music. Probably a bar or a dance club full of hot, pulsating bodies. His mind spun with the possibilities. And before he even realised it, he was there. He traversed a dozen or more city blocks in a matter of minutes.
He stood outside watching the young people come and go. The flashing neon signs and pounding beat of the music were an assault on his hyper-sensitive senses. And he loved it. It made him feel alive. He started to cross the street toward the club when a wierd feeling flickered across his consious mind, a premonition perhaps?? He had the strangest thought that somewhere in that club his destiny awaits. But what was it...or who??
To be continued...
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depression with a dash of whimsy Feb 3, 2007 7:48 pm
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"i'm feeling blue. just thinking of you. i get of bed. wished i was dead. and i hope you do too. so i've given up. i've thrown in the towel. i've taken all the pills the law will allow. and so i'm feeling blue. what else can i do? i thought a new gun would get the job done. i guess i'm just screwed." catchy little diddy, huh? i wish i could take credit for it but i borrowed it from the second Naked Gun movie. it perfectly describes the way i feel at the moment. down in the dumps but i still have my sense of humor. because if i weren't laughing i'd probably be crying and who the hell needs that. the one guy i mentioned in previous blogs has disappeared into cyberland like so many before him, never to be heard from again. the last i heard he was going on yet another business trip and we might hangout when he gets back. that was two and a half weeks ago and i haven't heard from him since. i got a wink from another guy, an older guy. wasn't having much luck with younger guys or guys my own age so i figured what do i have to lose?? i messaged him "hi". he messaged back "tell me about yourself". so i did. and that was the end of that. no answer, no response, no nothing. good work, pete, scared another one away. not exactly the ego boost i was hoping for. i just feel like i'm spinning my wheels and going nowhere fast. i'm beginning to wonder why i even bother to log onto OP?? every time i begin to feel hopeful about someone it just turns into disappointment and my happy go lucky facade is wearing thin. very thin. well, what else can i do besides just keep moving right along and singing the blues....with a smile (or at least a half-hearted grin).
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the date Jan 9, 2007 3:51 pm
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we agreed to meet at a chinese food restaurant that's like a 10 minute walk from where i live. i was a nervous wreck. i got home around 5:00ish and we were to meet at 7:00. my place was a mess (you know, in case we wound up back there later), i didn't know what to wear, and i decided i hate my body. i checked OP to see if he left any messages in case there was a last minute change of plans or he wanted to cancel because "something suddenly came up." there were no messages from him so everything was a go. i typed out a quick message to a new chat buddy i have, a cute guy in texas (Hi, El!!) and decided i better get my ass in gear because the clock was ticking. as for the house, i just pushed the bigger chunks of mess into the nearest closet and did a half-assed job cleaning the bathroom and kitchen. as for what to wear, well i'm a jeans and t-shirt kind of guy so that's what i wore. i decided simpler is better. as for my body, "take me for what i am. who i was meant to be. and if you give a damn. take me baby or leave me." it was an unusually warm night so i decided to walk there and try to burn off some of my nervous energy. i wanted to be there a little early cause i didn't want to miss him by being late. i kinda stood him up the first time we set a date (see previous blogs) so i didn't want to put him through that again. he arrived right on time. my first impression was: he's cuter in person than the photo he sent me. he had dark, wavy hair and dark eyes and an infectious smile. definite friend (or even boyfriend) possibilities. now the hard part of sitting down and getting to know each other. i learned right off the bat when trying to decide what to order that he is a vegetarian. i don't think i've ever known anyone who is a vegetarian before, so i felt a little uncomfortable odering sweet and sour chicken in front of him. he made a point that i probably would not eat that if i were the one who had to kill it, pluck, and prepare it. i pointed out that the chicken i ordered was already dead and it would be a shame to let it go to waste. not a terrific point but he let it go after that. it turns out we're very different people. he's got a college degree in environmental sciences (or something like that). i barely made it through a year and a half of college before i dropped out. he's career oriented and moved to this area to be closer to his work. i, on the hand, work in a supermarket and moved to this area because it's cheaper than where i used to live. and he travels alot both for work and personnal. i can't remember the last time i was out of NJ. it turns out were both middle children so we did have common experiences growing up that middle children face. at one point he noticed our placemats showed the animals representing the chinese years. he asked me what year i was born. i said 1969 and he pointed at the animal representing 1969 and there was the picture of a rooster. the caption underneathe it read "year of the cock." and he said something like "how appropriate." and i started to grin. then i started looking for the animal repesenting 1970, the year he was born. he pointed at the figure above the rooster on the placemat and said," i'm the dog (or was it a wolf?) and i'm located right above you, as it should be." i guess that was his way of telling me he's a top. and we both looked at each other and started smiling and laughing. we chatted and traded stories while we ate. we were there almost an hour and a half and it just flew by. afterward he asked me if i wanted a ride home since i walked. i told him no, that it's not much of a walk and we said goodnight. halfway home i thought to myself was that his way of asking if he could come home with me. or, on the other hand, was he just being polite?? well, i guess it's better that i didn't accept. i tend not to fool around on the first date, guess i'm old fashioned that way. this week he's down in Florida on business. so the trick is to see if he contacts me when he gets back home and that would mean he's interested and we can see where it goes from there. or maybe he's not interested and will magically disappear like so many before him. onle time will tell.
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i've got a date!! Jan 4, 2007 7:48 pm
1200 Views
hi all. just a quick update. that guy i've been going in circles with the last couple of weeks has decided to give me a second chance after a botched first attempt. he contacted me when he got back from visiting his family in NY and we set a date for tomorrow night. i haven't really been out on a date since the end of the summer so i'm a little "anxious" if you know what i mean. hope i don't fuck it up. i've gotten a few winks in the meantime but i'll see how this pans out before i pursue other oportunities. started chatting with this nice guy in texas. he's only 18 and half a country away so he's like the perfect chat buddy. very little chance of meeting but we share the same taste in sci-fi geekiness. saw the profile of this beautiful blonde guy (i have a weakness for blondes) and just on a whim sent him a message telling him i thought he was " a golden god." yeah, i know cheesy, huh. i didn't really expect a reply and i didn't get one. oh well (sigh). well, wish me luck for tomorrow night. i'll need it. Pete.
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