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okay, crazy womens
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Jan 23, 2006 2:30 am
1310 Views
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Alrighty, now that I have taken care of the nice fellers who made comments it is time to rant, or rather put an odd question to the test. My basic issue is as follows; lots of female friends. Female friends fall for Jon. Now what the hell am I supposed to do. Come on, Homo Erectus here no pussy cats for me please. I have lost several friends due to this puzzling cunundrum and it causes more than heartache and loss as well. Of course how I have found out wasn't so boring either......
Setting: 1 yr ago
Place: Bar
Mood: Flippin smashed out of my gourd, we've all been there don't say you haven't.
So my female friend and I Decide that thre is no action here so lets head home, plus, I was having enough trouble remembering who I was at that current moment. I actually think I mave have been drunk enough to sing Vanilla Ice during the kareoke, oh brother, bet you are all smiling at that thought. We both teater and wobble to the car, where of course there are more refreshing beverages for us to enjoy. We hop onto the long road home and decide, "ROAD TRIP!" Now all you good fellas know that a road trip consists of favorite music, booze, and a fast moving vehicle, not one of my brighter moments, but nonetheless a choice we made. So being inebriated and having blarring music in my ears my friend attempts to hold a conversation with me. Drunk Jon takes this as a que to sing, yeah one of those nights. So here I am sing Savage Garden, horribly I might add, sucking down a Zima and the words, "I think I love you," float to my ear! Brain hits the brakes, bladder is ready to burst, dick is hiding, eyes are bulging, throat closing, jaw is on the floor rolingg around with the bottles, and Zima is now sprayed all over the inside of my car, no worries she was driving. Needless to say the ride to my apartment was more than quiet. We pulled into the parkinglot got to the door, although I would have rather crawled, and went in. She asked if it was still ok for her to crash here, I, being the wonderful little hostess/host, assured her that it would be fine. Now comes the fun for all you readers... Me, drunk as a skunk and dead tired, in bed fully clothed, ontop of the covers and probobly drooling. The next thing I know I am being woken up by a naked someone... Methinks it's Brad Pit.... no.... Tom Cruise.... no... It's my friend, whoa! Wait A Minute, here! what the hell is going on? She was attempting to have sex with me while I was out cold, not cool. I shot out of the bed, knocking over a bookcase, smacking my face into the (yeah that sucked, I got a cut from it too), cussing like a salor who has a lisp and turn to face her on legs that wont cooperate. She had scared the living hell out of, attempted to screw me while sleeping, and is now crying (still naked) on my bed. Homo goes into action trying to comfort her all the while trying to figure out what the hell is going on. Confessions of a crush come spilling out, we talk all night, and I finally go to sleep on the couch at 60 am, in my own apartment. I did wash the sheets the next day, you kn ow girl cooties, lol, had to get the bar smell out of them, I hate that........
Well, I am sure you all can picture the odd scene to proceed that opening. I can safely say there was a lot of garbled "It's ok, I just don't like you that way," and, "Please Don't Cry." Shortly after that incedent we weren't speaking, I had tried but usually got a shoe tossed at me or something. We eventually made up, but the friendship seemed to be more bland and now we only talk on occasion. Now Someone, please, explain to me why they go and do crap like that. I mean it, some of my best friends for years have confessed affections for me after about 2 or 3 years. Now I have two really good friends wha admitted it and only told me after they got over the affections, and we still remain friends, really good friends. I still don't quite understand it though. Is it the whole idea of conquesting the man they cannot have, are we the better version of what they consider boyfriend "material," are we too nice, or is just some wierd cosmic thing that just goes without saying. Now I wouldn't mind if the effect was with all the guys I knew, hell, I would be goin nuts and squirting my nuts in that case. Opps, having dirty thoughts!? Hope someone will have a clue, hope everyone's day is filled with Tastiness and Joy!!! I'll check in later ya'll. Also will be scopin out some of the other blogs too!!!!!!! Member Votes
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Tim, to you kind sir.....
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Jan 23, 2006 2:24 am
1166 Views
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Tim, oh yes the tongue recovered, thank goodness. I would be lost without that esenstial tool. Good to meet you too, now remember keep those lips turned up.... to smile goofball, I bet you were thinking something dirty!!!!
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To Missior Curious
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Jan 23, 2006 2:17 am
1209 Views
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okay curios george, my what a large bananna we have..... I have always thought that as we learn from our disturbing memories that we should be able to laugh at them later on, hell, humor is my best survival trait and one of the best qualities I can think of!
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To tommy
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Jan 23, 2006 2:14 am
1182 Views
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Tommy, So very glad that you enjoyed the tidbit, no worries mate i have many more intriguing , humorous, and downright embarrasing stories to tell. In fact the good ol fingers seem to be itchin to rant once agin.........
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