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Readers Indigestion
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Apr 10, 2012 12:08 pm
1717 Views
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Greetings from Florida. I am again mooching off relatives for a cheap getaway. When I visit I know a great place on the beach to cruise after dark. I seldom leave unsatisfied. One reason I like this spot is that I seem to do better on a dark beach than I do in a lighted bar- booze or no booze. Last night I was hungry and ventured out. It wasn't very cruisey but I decided to be patient. The spot where I go has beach access at the end of the street. People come and go through these spots. Anyway, after sitting a bit a guy walked by, leaving the beach to go to his car. Out of my league, in his 30's, still in shape, bones in his wrists. I gave a friendly hello and really didn't try to hit on him because rejection comes my way enough without asking for it. He dropped off his stuff at the car and returned to the entrance where I was sitting. Making a long story short within a short time I was draining him alongside the walkway, out of view. Not really too interesting except it was a first for me. Luckily I got to do the "#! Dad!!!" in Florida. I have done plenty of guys wearing their wedding rings but the #1 Dad t-shirt thing was a first. I got a fresh, hot load of #1 Spunk apparently. Have any of you ever tricked with a #1 Dad?
I was very saddened to hear of Santorum dropping out of the race. In his speech he compared himself to Lincoln stating: "All men are created equal. Except, of course, the homosexuals who are an abomination in the eyes of God and don't deserve equal rights." And Newt is demonstrating exactly why he is the best possible candidate: He is at least 4.5 million in campaign debt; admits Romney will be the candidate; gives Romney his support; but won't drop out because he want his ideas included in the party platform. He must value his opinion a lot more than the voters did/do. Making it easier for Obama, yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's about it from here. Considering where I am I plan to go out a catch a #1 Grandpa later this evening.
peace, saycc
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A Whale Of A Good Time: Greater Missouri Mountain Tours
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Apr 1, 2012 2:53 pm
2016 Views
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Since I may be stealing some of the comments left on my last blog I will not respond to them until this is posted. Then I can claim coincidence. And thank you.
I became interested in Greater Missouri Mountain Whales a few years ago. I'd notice them sure, they're pretty hard to miss, but always thought they were hairless bears. Big mistake in the animal kingdom. Though there are similarities there are also striking differences between the two. The hair is but one difference. Both species top the scales at at least 350. The bears are hairy. If they stand naked you can identify their gender. Partly because of their round, firm (surprizingly) pot bellies ability to hold up above the penis. A naked Greater Missouri Mountain Whale has little, or usually no, body hair. Their multitude of skin flap aprons make it impossibe to determine their gender on sight. Though both hibernate a good part of the year the Greater Missouri Mountain Whale is spotted more frequently during Trivia Season, in January. As everyone knows the Bears sleep in until the smell of barbecue fills the air. And good luck getting them off the patio as long as there is food around. Greater Missouri Mountain Whales prefer wine and fondue to beer and brats. They sport pastel kafkans and like chaise lounges. A Greater Missouri Mountain Whale likes Gay Men's Choruses, Show Tune Night at the bar, and Judy. Bears like dirty bars with smelly bathrooms, Patsy Kline on the juke box, and b.o.
Greater Missouri Mountain Whales never exercise and use their arms only to eat and try to wipe. Many need lifelong assitance in dressing, hence the many kafkans, is needed by many Greater Missouri Mountain Whales. Luckily there are some men, Whalers, who find bare, lifeless globs singing show tunes and spraying on Liz Taylor's Passion, to be beautiful and worship them. The only stranger thing to me is a Santorum supporter. Bears also have admirers who like being on their knees in a bookstore having a guy in leather who smells like a lockerroom pumping their face. Greater Missouri Mountain Whalers are much more refined.
Since I am sure many of you are quite familiar with both species I will call this done. I know I needn't mention the Greater Missouri Mountain Humpback, nor Sperm Whales as their reputation is common knowledge. Nobody forgets their first nature trail encounter with a Humpback (Greater Missouri Mountain Whale variety).
The next time you are pissing in one of the Greater Missouri Mountain ranges shake twice when you finish. And crank up your soundtrack to Wicked, crack open a bottle of Mogen David and roast some cheese blocks over the open fire. I bet you too will find Greater Missouri Mountain Whale riding as rewarding as I do.
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The Greater Missouri Mountain Whale Guide: 2012
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Mar 31, 2012 2:35 pm
2551 Views
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A recent death in Missouri inspired me to investigate what happens with property willed to the state to be used as a park. Fontana Hatchling with the Missouri Conservacy Of Natural Resources stated that since the state is unable to take on the additional costs associated with the upkeep the land is sold and the money is put into a fund. Due to strict laws enacted in 1994, at the insistance of the local arm of the Outdoor Freedom League, the money is available only for studies and developments promoting oudoor recreational interests. I smelled Goiter money.
Armed with my freshly created degree from the Hickey Instiute of Higher Education in Glasgow, Missouri. Not to brag but not only am I the first graduate with a degree in Juxtapositional Anthropology, I am the only student, the faculty, and Board of Curators. I graduated Sumkinda Cum Laude in about a week. That's how long it took my neighbors kid to create the diploma. College life wasn't as difficult as you might think. If you too would like a degree I know people who know people. Not satisfied with a BS and subsequent Masters I created and enrolled in the Hickey Institute of Doctoral Cooking. My thesis was a brilliant expose of muskrat poaching at Forest Lake and its affects on bipeds on the nature trail. 300 words or less per school policy. Like I always say, the only person I want to hear ramble for more than a minute is me.
Since this has gone on longer than expected I will publish my guide next time. The Conservacy is more than thrilled with my work and I can line up some research positions you might want to consider. I will close with a picture of the elegant Greater Mssouri Mountain Whale to savor. And the picture doesn't tell the whole story. Believe it or not.
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Justified
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Jan 22, 2012 8:15 am
3915 Views
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Justified, on FX, has become one of my favorite shows. Much of this is due to Timothy Olyphant. I have found him to be a tasty mix of smarts and testosterone since I saw him on Deadwood. I don't know much about him and was glad to see he was on Ellen when I got home from work last week. I was disappointed that he seemed pretty dull. But I decided to watch after the commercial just to be sure I had been duped. When the show returned he told a story about his view on cats that made me fall for him again.
Ellen showed pics of the various pets at Olyphant's house, dogs, a hamster, a gecko. He told about his daughter telling him she wanted a cat. Olyphant told her that as a boy his family had several cats, all called Kitty. He told his daughter he'd get her a cat, but there were a few rules regarding this pet. The daughter agreed. That night he took a bowl of cat food to the street in front of the house. The next day the food was gone so he refilled the bowl and moved it 5 feet closer to the house. He repeated the procees for several nights. "By Thursday I was able to get my daughter and tell her, 'come seee what Daddy got you.'" There on the back porch was a cat. "These are the rules for having a cat," he told her:
The cat is NEVER allowed into the house.
The only name the cat will have is Kitty.
And, the cat is the family pet from 7-8pm.
Genius! I don't hate cats but am not a real fan either. Animals walking on counters sniffing food do not appeal to me. I really like the timed-aspect of having such a pet - I'd've had kids if I had only been responsible from 7-8pm. I regained my respect for him with this story.
So I will continue to watch Justified. Olyphant has some of my favorite traits; he's married, loves dogs, and tolerates cats. Plus, damn is he HOT.
peace, saycc
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Back To Reality
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Jan 19, 2012 3:30 pm
3935 Views
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I have had a few reality based experiences recently. Luckily it took no exertion on my part. The first experience was rather humbling. Once a week I work in the VA Hospital cafeteria (work related). There is a guy who works there, in his 30's, who I talked to a few times. Nothing overt on either of our parts but still I held out hope that maybe he would get drunk enough some night that he didn't care who sucked his dick, and give me a call. But I was very discreet in conversation; professional. Then this morning after we finished talking before he went back to work, he said,"I really like talking to you." I was getting a stiffie. Then he completed his comment, "you remind me of my father." Fuck. Fuckfuckfuckfuck. I tried not to look embarassed. Thoughts were running through my head. I wanted to ask him if he thinks his dad is hot, but thought better of that. So I said, "your dad must be pretty smart." That felt good for about 1 second until he said, "no, not particularly."
On to a more pleasant reality based experience. Sorry Whitney but, Kourtney and Kim Take New York, is a low rent, high-brow treasure. I ignore them. The show is Kris Humphries. My God, I swear I have never seen such a dumb/attractive combo since Matthew Mc. Luckily he appears shirtless most of the time. His conversational skills are pretty much juvenile and his thrill is to have friends over to get shit-faced when Kim isn't home. Then he tries to clean up (by calling a maid) before she gets home. Hilarious! But my favorite thing I saw was when Kris told Kourtney's baby daddy that he needed to trim. Then he took a razor and started shaving the guys pits. They really seemed to be getting into it until they were rudely interrupted. God I LOVE this show! Kris Humphries will never sit at my table at trivia, but I will gladly sit under his.
I try to avoid the political shit but recently reality based thinking crept in and I asked myself: Doesn't Newt have any advisors, and if not shouldn't he get some. He was gracious enough to offer to speak to the NAACP about the advantage of a paycheck compared to food stamps. I am sorry but no matter how this old white man takes the offer it seems inherently racist. That aside I am wondering how he will undervalue the food stamps vs. the paycheck when the reality is that most recipients of food stamps are employed.
Thank God for Stephen Colbert. I like his reality based thinking. Bringing back Herman Cain is genius.
peace, sayc
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Babbling Bolgging
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Jan 10, 2012 7:04 am
4405 Views
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Thought I'd start with a picture of a REAL tea pot. I got it at a yard sale at the Greater Missouri Mountain Trailer Park and Aqua Center. Every collector knows that the finest tea sets come from rural midwestern settings.
I have been enjoying the unseasonably warm weather. It is supposed to be in the 50's the next couple days. Winter hasn't been bad at all. I was so grateful I took 2 aerosol cans out today, pointed them toward the Qzone layer, and cursed Al Gore. The mixture of Pam and Rustoleum left the yard looking pretty rutzy too. I guess I just became an eco-terrorist.
Time Magazine recently name the Protester as the Person (group) of the Year. Sorry, for a group that claims to represent me I would not choose public urinators. It's a case of the messenger killing the message. I never cared enough about what they were/are saying to give a shit about them. But there was another group that unified the country last year. People came together in agreement that the casey Anthony verdict was wrong. I bet more people were surprized by this miscarriage than were surprized by the OJ thing. That's why I think the Jury is the Group of the Year. This jury sent a strong message: You can get away with murder. Maybe our system is flawed. At least the Jury in California sent a different type of message to Dr. Conrad Bain (or whatever his name is) in the Michael Jackson case. They let him know that it is NOT okay to kill child molesters in California.
So Mitt likes to fire service providers.
Does anyone else smell a hooker coming forward?
I miss Herman Cain. My favorite part of the election coverage was when he was accused of harassment. He looked at a picture of the woman, made a face and shook his head saying, "no, I don't know her." If that's not proof I don't know what is. I would like to know how his last "friend" avoided being accused of tax evasion for not reporting her gifts from Herman. They got Capone for Chrissake, that whore should be easy to convict of something, just for wasting our time and ruining Herman's roadshow.
Time to go. Gotta brew some special blend.
peace, saycc
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Fictional Historian
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Dec 30, 2011 9:31 pm
4661 Views
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I am LOVING Republicanism lately. I have been listening to Fox News a lot and am delighted that the commentators can't seem to agree on any candidate, but all seem to hate Ron Paul. I enjoyed Ron's response when asked about Michelle Bachmann: "She really hates the Muslims." Sadly that will get her votes. Santorum has been a longtime favorite of mine since he hates me because of the man on man action thing I enjoy. Nut lately Newt has won me over. I never liked Newt back in the day when he was Speaker of the House. But now I have come to appreciate him much more.
There are several reasons I have come to hope he gets the nomination. One is his vow to make sure that our native religion (Christianity) is protected legally. As if this is necessary. I guess he wants manger scenes back at the schools. Newt is old school religious. He takes marriage (between one man and one woman) so seriously that he divorced 2 wives to marry 2 mistresses. But in fairness to Newt at least one of those wives was very ill. What a pillar of Christianity!
The main reason I like Newt is that he has inspired me. His relationship with Freddie Mac and his explanation of it is genius. He railed against them yet became a consultant anyway. He is unable to tell anyone what he advised them but denies he was a lobbyist, whom we all know Newt despises. Newt just tried to get other politicos to back Freddie. Newt said that he was hired as a historical consultant. Huh??? This was because of his literary background. He wrote a couple of "what if" books. One was basically what if World War II never happened. Newt is a fictional historian. That inspired me to become one too. Fictional historians have no need to learn actual history. I am halfway there already! I even have a plot for my fictional history book, and hope it will qualify me to work for Freddie Mac in the future.
WHAT IF GOD IS GAY.
That's gonna be my masterpiece. Imagine the Bible (we all know God wrote the Bible) from a gay God perspective. Heteros would be hellbound. The only reason for straight sex would be procreation (pretty much the way I view it now). Only from my gay God's directive someone, I think Chazz would be good, will become the impregnator. Using a turkey baster (to avoid that whole, nasty heterosexx thing my gay God doesn't go for). It will take a while for me to flesh out all the details for the book, but you can bet it'll be man-fleshed out. What would your gay God decree? (WWGGD)
If I am successful in getting a book deal I am registering as a Republican. I can't wait to rub elbows with the big boys like Herman (how I miss that guy's candidacy), Newt and Sarah. I may even toss my tiarra into the ring in 4 years as their candidate. Right after Obama's second term, which the Republican candidates are meking so possible.
peace, saycc
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Seasonal Defective Disorder
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Dec 14, 2011 2:33 pm
5137 Views
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Two recent news items have caught my attention this holiday saeson. The first involves the theft of nativity scene characters from a local church. This isn't new, it has happened here before. What was new was the clip they broadcast with the story. It looked like Bondage Baby Jesus secured in his manger with metal wire, bolts and locks. How low can people go? To steal the Holy Infant from in front of a church! At least they could be original. I'd take the facimile to various places around town and take pictures like the people do with stolen garden gnomes. I think a picture of Jesus on Santas lap pretty much incorporates what is right with the holiday season with what is wrong about the holiday season.
I was ready to head for Chicago for some free action. Then I realized "Lap Dances For The Needy," was actually a fund raiser for an adult club to help the poor. Just think how many gifts they'd be able to deliver if someone would start a "Toys For Tits" drive.
Those are the only new holiday items I have heard the past few days. I am now inspired to do a fund raiser of my own called "Service For Men." I will provide the service and pocket the money. I think I can do so legally because I am poor and definitely non-profit.
peace, saycc
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#3 With A Bullet
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Dec 5, 2011 7:51 pm
6207 Views
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I just found out from a co-worker today that St. Louis was named (by some group that does that kinda list) the 3'rd most dangerous city in the world to live in. No other US city made the top ten.
Take that Detroit. I was surprized because according to Forbes, St. Louis was only the 9'th most dangerous city in the USA. But since I like being at the top I will go with the new ranking. But they added that East St. Louis was included in the statistics. That skews it somewhat as East St. Louis is actually in Illinois. Close to St. Louis but still in another state. I guess geography wasn't a consideration in this cities list.
Last month I was listening to an afternoon talk radio program. A caller told the host he was surprized to hear that the host made People Magazines list of sexiest men. As the host asked where he heard that the caller said, "yeah, you placed right below Larry King and right before Chaz Bono." I spit soda on that one. Then I realized I fit that description and didn't find it so funny.
The other day I got an email from OP about their newsletter. Being bored I looked at it. I am now amazed by OP's marketing strategy. There were some profiles, along with the usual "meet hot men" lines but there was also a promotion for the OP cyber store. It said there were some guys that wouldn't go into such a store for various reasons (in the real world) as well as "some guys you know who could spice up their sex lives." They used a pic of a man with his dog. OP forbids man/critter posts, regardless of the content, so I think it is odd for them to pimp their accessories with a pic of a guy and his dog. Maybe it's just me but I found it pretty funny. This blog will probably not be allowed to post as a result of my mentioning that pic. But the use it to promote their goods. I wonder how much they charge for their dogs. The "it" sex accessory.
I am not too political but have to wonder what the Democrats are thinking. Surely they must have a better candidate for 2012 than Obama. He has pretty much fucked things up and I haven't heard anyone talk about what a good job he is doing; not among my friends anyway. Why doesn't someone step up and say "let me lead this country." I can't think of anyone offhand but it would make me feel better if the Democrats would say, "sorry for our mistake, let's fix it with..." The Republicans are making it easier for Obama to get re-elected but I'd love for the Democrats to admit things just didn't work out as they planned and give us a better alternative. I mean this in a non-political way.
I guess that's it. I was just trying to brag about surviving St. Louis for 5 decades. I have been here since it was safe to leave the doors open at night.
peace, saycc
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Good Deed/Shattered Dream
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Nov 27, 2011 1:56 pm
5695 Views
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A month or so ago a company called Solutia sponsored the Rock N Roll Marathon in St. Louis. They select a local charity to benefit from the race and a good friend's charity was selected. I volunteered to work at the registration all day the Saturday before the race. I pretended that I volunteered for the charity but in reality I have had many dreams of doing runners I see on the streets around town. I figured I'd get a better view from the registration table.
I avoided volunteering for the jobs described as "keeping you busy," preferring to sit and stare. I wound up at possibly the busiest spot, making sure liabilty waivers were turned in. Most people didn't have them when they came in and had to stop at my table. I was very disappointed. My jogger fantasy men always have big peckers. The trait that seemed almost universal among the registrants was their small hands and average to small fingers. Being a believer in hand/cock size proportion it made me rethink my dream. Not that I am a size queen, as long as the dick is attractive I don't care; but a fantasy romp is a different story.
I haven't done any real serious runners that I know of so I am wondering if most are average to below average equiptmentwise. If you have done any/alot of runners has that been the case? And am I the only one who believes the hand/cock proportion theory?
The registration was not my only disappointment that day. America's Got Talent was holding auditions at the same hall, America's Center. I got there early figuring AGT auditioners would take up most of the parking. I was walking to my sign in location when a lady in uniform ask me if I had come to audition. What the fuck, I told her yes I was. She then ask what my talent was and got out her clipboard before noticing I had no audition number. I told her my talent was fallatio and rolling joints. "Excues me?" she asked. I repeated my talent explaining I do both at once. She said something under her breath and told me "wait right here." She returned a minute later and said that the producers didn't consider what I do talent adding, "but Piers would like you to demonstrate in his dressing room." Of course I went since I have always said I'll do just about anyone who is famous.
That was probably my biggest disappointment of the day.
He should have been in the marathon.
peace, saycc
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