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Condiment Sense
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Feb 4, 2008 8:10 pm
1608 Views
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At this time, with our current political climate, I realize persons much more informed than I should be giving political insights. I do want to help other homos in another area of importance; an area in which I am somewhat of an expert. Due to my great knowledge regarding this subject I will no longer be known as saycc; too worldly and not indicative of my true expertise in this area. I am willing to share my vast knowledge and ask only two things: 1.) I am henceforth to be known as Thywisdomtooth; and 2.) you must submit your food choices to me before eating. I will determine whether your choice is fit for consumption.
I will now share with you proven facts, or assumptions I accept and are therefore correct. First, alcohol is always a good option. Don't let the four DWI's in your past dissuade you from drinking. Liquor has helped countless men get laid over the years. At times it is more important that a prospect be drinking because you will seem smarter, better looking, and funnier if the other guy is drunk. You should also drink just to be social and not so shy. We all know that alcohol consumption levels the playing field.
I must advise you to avoid chicken. Most of these dirty birds are not fit to be eaten. Their meat, although at times tender and juicy, is deceivingly greasy and filled with poisons. Occasionally a wing or a leg is okay; just avoid a diet that stresses chicken.
Aged meat is the best. It has been proven to be the most desirable for men with taste and class. Most men who prefer this main course will rightfully avoid chicken. How could it not be the best option? Only the smartest of the breed become aged meats. Always go for fresh meat and avoid the canned variety. (The jelly tastes terrible too.)
Next week I will give you the benefit of my vast knowledge of vegetables. In the meantime please remember to eat nothing before submitting your preferences to me first. I put so much crap in my mouth that I am certainly an expert.
Take care my smart eaters. Get on board or you will miss the food train which will take you to a land of health and happiness.
Bless you all
Thywisdomtooth (formerly saycc.... Peace)
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A Pretty Man Is Like A Melody
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Feb 2, 2008 10:44 pm
1523 Views
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I just got a Bluetooth. I don't use it with my phone, exactly; I have found a better outlet for this device. I wear it when I am going grocery shopping or to other places I will have to be among others in public. Since I find most others to be pretty rude and unaware of it, the Bluetooth allows me to be blunt, without getting my ass kicked. When I am in the store and someone commits a social error I get right behind them and say "dumb ass cocksucker." When they turn to look at me thinking they have just been insulted (which in reality is true) I act like I am talking about someone else on the phone. Finally, a relatively safe way to insult people that piss me off.
Have you seen Fergie's new video? I am impressed that she looks much like a young Nancy Sinatra while performing a song which takes lyrics from a John Waters film star which starred Devine (movie = Female trouble; song = Girl Can't Help It). John Travolta... You are no Edna Turnblatt. Just another man in a dress; at least he's a closeted Scientologist and not a wanna-be
dragster.
I have no interest in the Super Bowl this year. Sure, Tom Brady looks like lunch but how can I get excited about the teams (involved) names? Give me teams with names a queer will relate to: Dream game would be the Cowboys vs. the Packers.
And half time, Tom Petty. Blah, blah, blah. How can you have Prince one year and the next year feature a washed up skeleton? Oh sure, he's got that talent-thing going on but does anyone like watching him perform? I say do a nostalgic tribute to happier American times and wheel out Annette joined by Up With People. Now that's a show stopping combination. Make it real interesting and let her dance. Super Bowl magic. (I had to mention Annette once. It is my mission to return her to her rightful spot in America's heart. One of the only true ICONS left.)
Do you want to play a game that is so much fun,
And it isn't very hard to do? Identify the songs sampled in this blog and email your responses to normanduke. I know he will thank you for it:
Try to see things my way,
You can get it wrong and still you think that it's all right.
Well where oh where can my baby be?
The lord took him away from me,
He's gone to heaven so I gotta be good,
So I can see my baby when I leave this world.
Young boys they do get weary,
Wearing the same old tired dress.
You better stop children what's that sound,
Everybody look whats goin' 'round.
Will it go around in circles?
Will it fly high like a bird up in the sky.
With plasticine trees and marmalade skies, Somebody smiles as they pass through the flowers
That grow so incredibly high.
I want to take you higher,
C'mon baby light my fire,
Wanna take you higher,
Boom shaka lacka lacka, boom shaka lacka lacka.
Boom boom boom let's go back to my room,
Where we can do it all right,
Where we can do it all night.
Talkin' bout those night moves.
Name the artists for extra credit.
Normanduke will award a nice prize to the winning entry... a fake gold membership to the OP for six exciting months. Find out the winning entry by googling "norman my love." Contest ends at midnight, December 31, 2009.
Me and Mr., Mr. X,
We got a thing going on.
That's all from here. Sing it sisters. Aloha.
Peace and Music, saycc
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No Point Really
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Feb 1, 2008 5:30 pm
1457 Views
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"Fucking snow. I am sick of the fucking snow. I am fucking sick of the fucking snow. Fucking fuck, I am fucking sick of the fucking snow."*
* (Eskimo folk song; anonymous, 187
I went to a Trivia Night at the Teamsters hall. By, for and of the Teamsters. I was the only fag within blocks of the place; I know because I asked around. The emcee was a guy with no neck-just a head sitting on shoulders. I know why he was picked though: he had a voice that reeked of Pall Malls (outstanding and they are mild) and Old Crow. He asked a question about President James Buchanan and identified him as a "suspected homosexual." This was music to my ears; game on. I waited until he was within earshot of our table and said, loud enough that he could hear, "I heard that the emcee is a closet heterosexual." He visibly became upset for a few minutes until someone told him what heterosexual means. "Damn right. I ain't no queer." The Teamsters Hall; where men are men and the women are too (yet none will admit to being lesbians).
A joke in honor of President's Day.
How can you get a fag to fuck a woman?
Fill her pussy with shit.
Another in honor of Mother's Day.
A bear and a rabbit were shitting in the woods. The bear asked, "do you ever have a problem with shit sticking in your fur?" The rabbit replied "no." The bear then picked up the rabbit and wiped his ass with it.
I am out of things to say but hopefully someone will do something stupid for me soon. Until then I will concentrate on Mr. X who I dare say is hotter than Annette pre-MS. I would only be using her for the handicapped parking placard.
Sorry in advance for the last comment. I would hate to blog without offending someone.
Peace and Thank You, Craig
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He Said What?
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Jan 25, 2008 10:59 am
1652 Views
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Hello Boys. For better or worse I have returned. Nothing too serious today, just idle chatter.
Researchers at Washington Unuversity in St. Louis, working from money obtained through a grant, have recently determined that promiscuity increases with alcohol consumption. You could have knocked me over with a brick when I heard of this scientific breakthrough. Who would even dream that booze lowers inhibitions? To think of these intellects meeting at local bars, with their legal pads and recorders, at closing time to investigate such a theory. It inspires me to apply for a grant to determine if sub-zero temperatures have an effect on ice forming on ponds.
I can remember many years ago hearing about single men who wore wedding rings to bars. It was said that the ring would attract women looking for a fling, not a commitment. It makes me wonder if gay men lie about their marital status in order to get some action without any commitment. Seeing that wedding rings are fag magnets I would think this occurs. (Not on a fine system such as OP where everyone is honest and trustworthy) I do admit I am attracted to married guys for this reason. I think these relationships would lose some element of excitement if I were to find out that there was no risk (of the wife finding out) involved. I would feel so cheap and used if one of my married concubines turned out to be single.
On the road of life I am driving a Hyundai. At least I get a 100,000 mile/10 year powertrain warranty. Unfortunately my powertrain is a Lionel.
Did everyone see Matthew McConahey's message to his fans regarding his upcoming fatherhood? My won't the world be a better place when he and his model girlfriend procreate. I am sure that their spawn will be the next MENSA president. Don't get me wrong...I would still do him anytime - especially if he wears a wedding ring.
Heath Ledger's death is a tragedy on many levels: he was talented; he was young; he was HOT. Out of all the young (and by young I mean anyone younger than me)stars he wouldn't have been one I would pick in a death pool. Since my mind works in strange ways I was thinking about what young (younger than me) stars (movies, music, TV, etc.) I would pick to be the next to go. I invite everyone to share your picks because there are no doubt some obvious choices I will overlook. Here are my death pool picks:
Robert Downy Jr.; Amy Winehouse; Mary Kate (or Ashley - the one with the eating disorder); Jack Black; 50 cent; anyone named Brittney.
I mean no disrespect to Heath Ledger, I was a fan of his work. To anyone reading this that takes offense......ha ha.
Coke is adding a new line that has vitamins and minerals added. I feel stronger already. Nothing says healthy diet like soda.
For a good homoerotic time watching mostly straight boys watch MTV's Road Rules. There are 2 gay guys on who made-out in a pool last night but the straight boys are more dangerous/sexy. Check it out.
Well that's it for today. Keep those cards and hate mail coming in. Just so you know, these are not my real opinions. This is a phony blog; I am into kittens and snowflakes, and kittens named Snowflake. If something you read here angers you please do not misdirect your anger at me: I am but the messenger. I don't always say what I mean but I mean what I say.
This I mean: Peace, Craig
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Am I Not A Perv ?
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Jan 20, 2008 7:44 pm
1856 Views
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Just a brief question. Lately I have seen Blogs offering to evaluate older men as real, not real, "pervs", good guys, etc. Is this disturbing to anyone but me? I know the 18 year olds with so much life experience are quite knowledgeable about everything: how else could they evaluate the character of people they DON"T ACTUALLY KNOW? To actually be pompous enough to tell guys that they can submit their name to be evaluated and if they are lucky they will be named one of the chosen few. For these pubescent boys to even state that they are capable of rating everyone shows just how little they know. Anyone that blows smoke up their ass will be rated as a good guy, not a pervert. " What a relief that Cubby judged me to be ok." More alarming is the number of men feeding into this;"thank you for including me in your list."
Jeez guys you can't actuallly have half a mind and be serious about that. It seems sad that as gay men get older they will go to such lengths for some shred of acceptance from younger gay men. Do we really need to be listed in this manner to have feelings of self-worth?
Ask yourself this question; "What did I really know when I was 18?" Think anyone of us would actually be a fair judge of online character at that age? Think anyone can actually be arbiter or peoples actual character based on chatroom interactions and emails from people we don't really know?
It is understandable to want acceptance and try to create friendships, don't get me wrong. Everyone makes friends on this system if they choose to. It is just sad to me to see these older men sucking up to these teenage know-it-alls. Any teens NOT rating others are exempt from my last comment. I am sure I made no friends by writing this but felt like somebody had to say it. I mean no harm. LOL
Peace, Craig
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Hop on OP
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Jan 18, 2008 8:28 pm
1765 Views
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A Tribute to Dr. Suess and the OP
I've a story to tell, but where to begin,
About the OP and it's bevy of men.
There's short ones and tall ones, some smooth others hairy.
There's barebackin' cowboys and one known as Mary.
There's crossdressers, hustlers, there's drunks and there's studs,
Lawyers and liars, policemen and duds.
There's men clad in leather and some in a dress,
I stroke as I'm typing sometimes it's a mess.
There's shaved ones, depraved ones, the rich and the poor,
And some that will fuck 'til their ass is too sore.
There's some who like guys that will chew on their titty,
And some in a diaper that want to get shitty.
There's clean and there's dirty,
There's uptight and crass.
And one hot young man with a fist up his ass.
There's jokers and smokers and one contest cheat,
Who posts phony photos while beating his meat.
And one smokin' couple was on here today,
I want to involve them in one hot three way.
I'll taste her sweet pussy and suck his hot dick,
When I finish up I'll thank Hucky and Rick.
There's paddles and dildos and clamps on the nips
testicles, cockrings and cocksucking tips.
There's Catholics and Buddists and Athiests too
I'm hoping to find me an ass-pounding Jew.
My minds growing weary from surfing this line
With so many penises looking so fine.
And although I'm finished on OP today
I soon will return to this manly buffet.
Peace, Craig
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Easy On The Eggs Omi
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Jan 16, 2008 7:24 pm
1744 Views
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To the disappointment of some, I am sure, I am back. I am going back to my roots tonight, nothing too heavy or (overly) political. Just observations from an average guy.
Does anyone still watch "American Idol's" try out shows? Good God how they drag. Simon will always be Simon and bad acts could at least try to be original; especially since they are bad on purpose. Changes should also be made to spice up the show. In addition to the obvious suggestion of voting FOR who you like, people would much rather vote AGAINST someone and see them cry when they have to leave. Then I would vote; if I were partially responsible for helping to shatter some deluded teens dream of instant karma. Other suggestions for this season: Put some true Gangsta rappers through to Hollywood. Not LL Cool J rappers, more like 50 Cent and Snoop; street thugs with no reservation about popping a cap in some whitebread ass. Another suggestion: on country/western night make the wanna-bees perform while riding a mechanical bull. Forget the stupid line dancing clothes (which I really do like but it is not hip to admit it) and let's see their asses tossed across the room. More ideas will surface as the season progresses but this is a start.
Gay St. Louis Cardinal fans are clad in black. The finest looking specimen of manhood in baseball is headed to Toronto. You Toronto men need to check out the perfection that is Scott Rolen: The total package. My guess is homo attendance for the Blue Jays will increase sharply. No need to like or understand the game. One look at Rolen will justify any expense involved. And who do we get in return: that dry-dream Troy Glaus.( Being such a fine, physical specimen myself I can say this.) Just suffice to say I will be attending no games in St. Louis this season. May travel to KC or ChiTown when the Jays are there though. That man looks good enough to eat.
My next idea for a reality show is the search for Mr. Right Now. I will sit in a mansion and wait for a variety of married men to come by to cheat on their wives when they get the chance. What a concept for a show. Hide their true identities with that bluedot technology (or whatever it is that makes them look like they were conceived when their parents were tripping acid)so that there are many contestants. If the chemistry's good-cheat with them again. If not-sayanora Charlie. Wonderful 30 minute no commitment sex with no sleep overs. The stuff true gay dreams are made of. (I expect I will hear about that comment, oh well).
What is your favorite SPAM product? I get about 8 ads for Colon Cleanse daily. "Lose 20 pounds overnight." I am afraid to look at the actual ad so am unsure if this product is ingested or taken like an enema. Either way I do not think I would like to find my small intestine in the toilet the following morning. Then again, in three days I could get back to my weight in eighth grade. Hmmmmmmmmm.
Well, I guess that's all for now. I have to go watch Idol on tivo. What a country.
Peace, Craig
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Cyber Jesus
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Jan 13, 2008 7:21 pm
1491 Views
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I am stepping in a spiritual direction this evening and hope that you, my brothers, will come with me on some part of my journey and quest for the Real System Savior. I have become very aware of some of the charismatic bloggers who have devoted followers, all wanting acceptance and a true inner awakening. These leaders offer wisdom that the rest of us could only hope to receive, as most of us do not have their uncanny capacity to grasp reality. I for one do not want to have to think politically for myself. I want an enlightened 18 year old to explain to me why I need to hear him, and only then will I know the one, honest TRUTH. Some of these Prophets are forthright in insisting that we need to get behind Hillary/Barrack/John/Paul/George/or Ringo in order to find political enlightenment. And right they are! Most of us dumb queers would base rejecting, say Hillary, on the basis of her lack of fashion sense and huge cankles (no-nos in the queer handbook; see "pant suit (lesbian)" and "vertical stripes" pages 23-25 for proof). These all knowing, barely legal theolegians are so giving of themselves, and so aware of their superior intellect that they spell it right out for us so we don't have to waste precious time actually thinking and making up our own minds. They extend this courtesy to encompass not only politics but all areas of gay life. They are here to nuture, protect and support us in a demonstration of righteous acceptance. In return all we need do is pledge our undying gratitude in the form of a comment on their pulpit page. After reading a particularly heartfelt and inspired sermon from these Saviors of the Chatroom there is nothing that makes the experience more complete than viewing the photos of naked/semi-naked men, hell (oops) some of the believers are so indebted they show only their penis which I am sure makes them more easily identifiable to their leader. To think, an old guy like me can actually have a chance with a young expert in the field of Total Life Awareness just by pledging my unyeilding gratitude for their selfless gift. I do believe some 20 year old halfway across the country will read my comment and go: "Wow, this is one quality guy. I think I'll jump in the Camry and pay him a personal visit." I know that many will decry this blog as sacreledge but they see only in human thought and are missing the big, unyielding picture. If you don't get on board you will miss the boat to Nirvanna (or if you are in Oklahoma the boat to the Habana)
In the name of Annette we pray, Amen (TY Bobby)
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Free Falling
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Jan 12, 2008 7:37 am
1837 Views
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I am so full of.....ideas today. Going without the numbers again so I can freely disorganize my thoughts.
Does anyone else find it somewhat odd to see comments, in response to a serious, heartfelt blog, where the responder is pictured naked, or just a picture of a hard-on or an ass shot? This always makes the response seem less ______ (fill in the word, I can't quite pinpoint it). Also , on the subject of assholes not named George Herbert Walker, is anyone really attracted to the photos of men bent over, spreading their cheeks to show the on-ramp to their Hershey Highway? I like a good ass pic as much as the next guy but think the poop chute was intended to be viewed in the dark by consenting adults. I would also like to meet the guys that find the cum-filled ass shots to be appealing. This fascinates me: the idea that 1.) the poster thinks the shot is hot, and 2.) the chance that there might actually be someone that admits finding this attractive.
Ok, I have heard enough how phony I am for not posting pictures. I really don't see the need or purpose as I intend to meet no one that finds me attractive as their judgement is impaired, at best. Also even if I did post and it was a good picture (which I have yet to find a "good" picture of me) I would not like feeling it was being analyzed by people I really don't know. It is not that I'm not comfotable in my own skin...there's just so much of it. I also find it strange that on this system others rate your pictures. With self-esteem issues being so prevalent among gay men who wants to find out that their peers have rated them a 5? I think anyone that rates a picture should have to post some to make themselves game for such scrutiny. Not being a phony I do not rate pictures (or if I do it is only the hot men I give 10's to to bolster their confidence). p.s. Nice heels Matureguy, you get an 11.
Want to make some quick cash and have fun at the same time? You will need a co-conspirator. The next time you go to a party take a bag of M&M's. Casually mention that you can tell what color the M&M's are by tasting them, sight unseen. Have your friend act incredulous and bet that you can't. Others will want a piece of this action because who would believe such a claim. Before the party plan sequqnces of the colors your friend will select at random. Commit these sequences to memory and use key phrases or words to denote which sequence will be used. Since the friend was the first to make the claim and make a bet, he should insist on being the one selecting the random M&M's. Keep duping other guests until someone else insists on selecting the colors to give you. When that happens end the game stating you have nothing left to prove.
The next time you have a few hours or days to kill when flying - say on a business trip you don't want to take, or to visit family you dread - here is a surefire way to have fun at the airport. As you approach the screeners be sure to have your cell phone to your ear as if making a call. When you are within earshot of security give them the "1 second" sign by holding up one finger. Then in a voice just loud enough that they can hear you say, "Tell Mustaffah that we got the package and set the timer." In no time at all you will be enjoying the hospitality of airport security, and possibly Homeland Security as they try to get you to admit to a conspiracy and also try to trace your cell phone call (which was never made). Expalin to them that Mustaffah is your pet name for your boyfriend (due to his uncanny resembalance to a Sesame Street character) and that the timer was set to turn on your Christmas lights. Eventually you will be able to go and may possibly be unable to take that trip you were hoping to avoid anyway.
I believe in fair play as long as I am winning.
If you don't know the truth, make it up.
People are basically stupid.
One bad apple don't spoil the whole bunch girl.
Good Night and Good News.
Peace out, Craig
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Corn Cobs and Door Knobs: A Poetic Journey
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Jan 10, 2008 4:29 pm
1929 Views
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I am not using the number system to communicate my thoughts today because I prefer to ramble without restriction to topic, and order is not my thing. I will try to space between ideas but promise nothing.
I turned on the oldies station today expecting the Shirelles, the Platters, or Frankie Lymon. Instead it was all music I currently enjoy. How did these musicians get so old?
Why is it harder to get on an escalator when it is not moving?
I was just thinking today that as I get older I am more attracted to overweight, balding men. Then I realized it was a mirror.
I think the best line from a song in 2007 goes to Pink. Don't know the name of the song but the line is : "keep your drink just give me the money." Speaking of Pink: Why do I enjoy her music but hate to have to watch her?
Message to wise2it: saw your polar bear blog. It reminded me that David Letterman said that polar bears will soon be extinct. He then suggested, "so eat them while you still can." His interview with Paris Hilton was the best piece of TV (except fot Desperate Housewives, Curb Your Enthusiasm, or Dezter), last year. If you saw it you will know what I'm talking about. If you missed it, you missed it.
For the hottest 4 minutes of non-pornographic homo-erotic fun on the Web go to : sleeperholdfetish on youtube. Select the 4minute something second clip. You will than know why I have been dreaming of having a Speedo clad jock grind his testicles into my face. One of the reasons for the dream anyway.
I think I could win Project Runway even though I am far too butch to sew. Instead of making clothes for people, make clothes for animals. For instance my line of clothing for male dogs would be called 'Bitch Magnet". My line for female dogs would simply be "Bitch." A line of cat coats could be "Pussy Fur." The possibilities are almost endless.
My idea for new childrens programming: Kiddie Porn. Not the typical gross shit; something for everyone. I think a show called - Professor Peckers Penis Puppet Pals - would really be popular. Have men lie on their backs using their erect penises as actors/puppets. I would not be tall enough for a role but would conduct the auditions and be the set fluffer. My generosity has no limits. To save money on costumes everything could be ImProv. What a way to learn the lost art of ventriloquism.
Finally, I see many posts from people nice enough to warn the "newbies" of the phonies, predators, and users on the system. I think in the interest of fairness it is my duty to inform the beginning phonies, users and predators of scams that would work in duping unsuspecting victims. First of all get a photo of an attractive athlete with a killer body, say...sitting on a soccerball (this is not technically a lie as most of us are able to sit on a ball, so to speak). Crop the head and you are set. Now sweet-talk naive young men into a cyber romance. Good start.
Now for the story to gain sympathy and at the same time be financislly beneficial. I would go with something along these lines : I was working as a volunteer in Sudan, helping refugees build an AIDS hospital when our group was attacked by a group of violent gorillas. Be sure to spell it as I did. Too many "guerella" horror stories are known so they seem faker. No one will think you made up a story about gorillas. Be sure to add details like how the hairy bastards shredded your clothing after and dismembering your wife and son; leaving you without even the clothes on your back. (A dead family antecdote will = $$$$$). End with a plea to help you get home to see your mother one last time before she dies of Pancreatic Osmosis...some illness that sounds real enough no one will doubt you. Again: $$$$$.
As a true service to wanna-be predators, users and fakes, I have compiled a list of system members that are the most gullible. Easy marks. Rookies. Fast money. To view the list of the most gullible simply click on where it says " CLICK ON," at the end of this blog.
You are so welcome. My pleasure to help a group so ostrasized.
Peace out.
Craig
CLICK ON
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To link to this blog (saycc) use [blog saycc] in your messages.
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