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Hi guys. (Quick update)
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Apr 17, 2006 6:28 am
1589 Views
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Hi guys, yes it's the ol Tazzerman here. I just wanted to give you guys a quick update on how things are going.
Well, my wife and I are STILL together. (Thank GOD) We ARE working through the pain I've caused her with my infidelity and we both remain committed to rebuilding our relationship and moving forward.
Now, this is NOT to say that it's been easy 'cause it hasn't been. There have been an ocean of tears shed, questioning of everything and my wife even took ALL of our wedding pictures and tore them up and threw them out. 
It has been a day by day thing, sometimes moment by moment but I think that we WILL be able to rebuild.
It IS a testimony to her love for me that she's even willing to consider staying together and working this out. It's amazing to me..
Right now, we're planning on really starting all over. By that I mean, I am going to 'court' her just like I did in the beginning. I'm hoping that we will eventually reach a point where we will renew our vows..
I am here, checking out the blogs but that's it. My profile is turned off and I will NOT be unfaithful to my wife, ever again.
The SMW has been put away forever...
So, stay tuned as I attempt to rebuild my life and my relationship with the greatest woman on the face of this planet...
-Alan
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The hardest post of all.
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Apr 9, 2006 7:33 am
2013 Views
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First, I'd like to thank all of my friends out here on OP. Your support, love and collective wisdom has helped me to understand a huge part of myself in more ways than I could ever imagine.
Most of you who have followed my blog and my quest know that at times, I have posted and bared a little bit of my true soul out here, especially in regards to the guilt that I've experienced.
In reality though and looking back at some of my posts now, I know for sure that I NEVER really exposed more than just the tip of the iceberg.
The guilt that I have endured over the past year was and still is consuming me from the inside out.
I started this 'quest' because of my 40+ year curiosity about men. I had originally deluded myself into thinking that if I stuck with only men, I really wasn't cheating on my wife. You know, looking back now, it's amazing to me and sad how we can rationalize things like this to ourselves, never once really looking at what we're doing honestly.
Well, yesterday morning I finally pulled the veil back and took a long hard look at myself and what I was doing. I came to the realization that first and foremost, I could not and would not continue this double life I was leading.
It was NOT fair to anybody but most importantly, it was not fair to my wife.. My soulmate, partner and best friend.
Secondly and really more importantly, I had totally broken the trust and my voes that I had with my wife. My soulmate and my best friend.
For this, I will live in shame and distrust for the remainder of my life.
Yesterday morning I told my wife everything.
Everything.
Needless to say, it did NOT go well.
I've broken her heart, her trust and her love for me is now gone.
I have quite literally killed the most precious thing in my life, just as surely as if I had taken a gun and shot it.
She and I have talked at length and rightly so, she is completely broken and disgusted with me. The scene yesterday morning was not pretty.
The two of us are left now with a number of decisions to make.
I think that we are in fact going to try and put this relationship back together. Try is the key word here. I'm not sure we will EVER be able to and neither is she but I think that we are going to try.
We continue to talk and we are scheduled to see a counselor next week. My hope is that we can start the healing process and maybe, just maybe come to grips with what I have done.
I write this post for a number of reasons. First and foremost I wanted to thank all of you who have cared, who I have spent time with, who have shared your lives with me both here and in person.
I will miss this blog and all of you very very much.
Secondly, I write this blog as a warning to ALL of you who are married and cheating. Listen to what BudBama has to say (As well as many others). They ARE 100% correct.
I originally thought that I could have my cake and eat it too. Well, that's not the case guys. It does NOT work that way. Living a lie is NOT living. Cheating on your spouse or your partner is just that. Think about what you are doing to them, regardless of whether they know about it or not... Forget about yourself for a moment and think about the one(s) you love.....
I will be shutting down my profile here and on all of the other sites that I frequent shortly. I've already started cleaning out my email boxes and will be shutting those down as well.
This IS my last post.
I plan on refocusing my life and my attention on my wife and my family 100%. I will do everything possible to rebuild what I have destroyed. It will not be easy and success is not a certainty, but I have to try.
Once again, I want to thank you all for being there for me...
Good bye.....
-Alan
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Business Man Special.
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Apr 7, 2006 11:51 am
1820 Views
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The ol Business Man Special (BMS) is one of the SMWs favorite things.
Yep, no doubt about it.
No mess (well, not quite but you know what I mean) no fuss.
I had one this morning. Very typical, which is good. Had a guy contact me on a another site saying he was going to be in town on business (Hence the name) today through Sunday and was staying at blah blah blah hotel. Was I interested in a little man-to-man sex.
LOL obviously he DOESN'T know the SMW do he??
So we confirmed the date, time, location etc.
I showed up as I ALWAYS do, right on time. Knocked on his door and was greeted by a very nice looking, older gentlemen. Very clean, good looking, nice room, nice 'stuff'. Typical business man.
After a little light chit chat, the SMW 'sprang' into action. I had his belt undone, his zipper unzipped and his cock down my throat before he even knew what hit him......
After the initial, passionate, wild first few minutes, we finally paused long enough to remove all our clothes and then settled into a mighty fine 69. Both of us slurping on the others cock for all we were worth.
This lasted for quite some time actually. Very nice. (I'm sure you ALL love 69'ing as much as the SMW right?) We were both in a very nice rhythm, side by side, then me on top, then him ontop. Slurping away, deepthroating each other periodically, running our hands over each others asses and bellys and legs and reaching for and tweaking each others nipples etc. All while we BOTH maintained a rather nice 'liplock' on the others dick.
Needless to say, we both came in gushers at virtually the same time. (I love that). Cum spewing in all directions and the sounds of two guys moaning and groaning in orgasmic ecstasy.
After, we both laid there for a while, still tangled up in each others arms and legs, just kind of letting the feeling flow through our bodies, enjoying that special afterglow of a good orgasm, not wanting to disrupt the feeling/mood.
Finally, I got up and went over to the bathroom to retrieve a nice warm, wet wash cloth.
We both wiped each other off, cleaned ourselves up, got dressed and finally bid adieu until next time.
Yep, those early morning BMS. I just love 'em. There are damn few ways I know of to kick start your day.. 
We'll see each other again, the next time he's in town......
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Friday funnies...
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Apr 7, 2006 11:36 am
1805 Views
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Not sure why but this one just hit me the right way! Enjoy -tm
Guy walks into his bedroom with a sheep under his arm.
His girlfriend stops reading as he says "honey this is the pig I screw when you have a headache."
His girlfriend looks disgusted and says "I think if you look again you will notice that is a sheep, you idiot"
And the guy replies "I think if you look again you will notice that I am not talking to you”
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Contrary to popular belief
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Apr 5, 2006 4:28 pm
1927 Views
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the SMW does in fact have a heart and feelings. Yep, it's true.
You all SHOULD know this about me.
I love my wife VERY much. She is in fact my soul mate and will always be. She's also my best friend. Without her I'd probably be dead now. If not that, I'd be less then half the man I am right now
So, those among us who want to flame me for my lying and cheating please, feel free. You can do no more than I do to myself. Trust me.
My wife and I connected on all levels immediately and we still do, expect for one. Sex.
Granted, when we first met, the sex was ok. Reasonable even. No real complaints from me. Not the greatest but then, being the pragmatist that I am, I figured I could live with it..
Well, unfortunately one day she found a cyst on her cervix. After many many many months, years etc the end result was a a hysterectomy and a complete oofercotomy.
After that the sex was never the same. It was ok but slowly over the next 4-6 years, it waned.
We finally hit the point about 3 years ago where sex was strictly a rote thing. She no longer enjoys it, no longer has orgasms, no longer has any passion or fire what so ever.
Many of you might think that maybe the SMW gave up... Not true my friends. I've spent hours, days, weeks even trying to please her, trying to rekindle that spark, trying to get her off. To no avail my friends.
Granted a big part of it is in fact psychological on her part. She REALLY doesn't like her self very much physically. In fact, I'd go so far as to say she hates her body at this point.
We've seen counselors, we've talked all in depth for hours and hours and continue to do so, to no avail.
This is what drove the SMW to first Adult FriendFinder and men then to OP and more men. I deluded myself into thinking that as long as I stuck with men, it really wasn't cheating.
Right.....
Well, I no longer live under THAT delusion.
But, as my own wife put it, I AM still a 'vital' man. My sexual urges need release.
That being said, I'm NOT willing to give up my loving wife. My soul mate, my life partner and best friend.
So where does that leave me, faithful readers? Stuck in world where I get what I can on the side. I live in two worlds that will NEVER know the other.
I fight guilt and shame every single day. I look at my soulmate and WANT to tell her but cannot, ever...
In the meantime, my own sexual urges come to the fore and I end up being trapped.
The only good thing out of all of this is the many friends and lovers that I've now met along the way. All are beautiful people. All share with me their most intimate selves. I make each and everyone of them aware of my situation and my dilemma. They understand and the very few that are true golden souls, help me through the roughest parts.
To you guys, I give you ALL of my love and heartfelt thanks..
You know who you are.
-Alan
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Wednesday funnies (part deux)
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Apr 5, 2006 11:43 am
1915 Views
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Long ago lived a seaman named Captain Bravo. He was a manly man who showed no fear in facing his enemies. One day, while sailing the seven seas, a look-out spotted a pirate ship and the crew became frantic. Captain Bravo bellowed, ''Bring me my Red Shirt.'' The First Mate quickly retrieved the captain's red shirt and whilst wearing the bright red frock he led his men into battle and defeated the pirates.
Later on that day, the look-out spotted not one, but two pirate ships. The captain again called for his red shirt and once again, though the fighting was fierce, he was victorious over the two ships. That evening, all the men sat around on the deck recounting the day's triumphs and one of the them asked the captain, ''Sir, why do you call for your red shirt before battle? The captain replied, ''If I am wounded in the attack, the shirt will not show my blood and thus, you men will continue to fight, unafraid.''
All of the men sat in silence and marveled at the courage of such a manly man as Captain Bravo. As dawn came the next morning, the look-out spotted not one, not two, but TEN pirates ships approaching from the far horizon. The crew stared at the captain and waited for his usual reply.
Captain Bravo calmly shouted, ''Get me my brown pants.''
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The waaaaay back machine 1976
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Apr 5, 2006 7:49 am
1847 Views
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Ok, jobro's post 'Days of Future Passed' really did it to me. The flood of memories have come POURING back.
Where were YOU in '76?
I graduated high school that year and 3 days after the graduation ceremony, found myself on an airplane, winging my way to Israel. I was FULLY expecting to emigrate and I spent the next 2 1/2 years living there. I never did and came back to the states and went to school.
My girlfriend at the time received a full scholarship to Julliard and left in January of '76. She told me on my b'day that she was moving to NY. Thanks babe
The Concorde made it's maiden flight
July 4th, the Israeli raid on Entebbe happened. I was in Israel at the time and the entire country woke up that morning to the news. The feeling and emotion that flooded the streets that day, literally closed the entire country down. One of the guys who led the raid was from the kibbutz I was living on.
On that same day was the US Bicentennial. (Looking back, I'm SOO sorry I missed it.)
Apple Computers was formed by Steve Jobs and Steve Wozniak
That summer was the 'Son of Sam' summer in NYC
The Damned released 'New Rose' the first ever singled marketed as 'Punk Rock'
Jimmy Carter is elected president
The very first laser printer is introduced by IBM
A little known company Microsoft is officially registered with the Office of the Secretary of the State of New Mexico
Rocky is playing in the theaters.. Wins Academy Award for Best Picture of 1976
Billboard Top 10 for 1976
1. Don't Go Breaking My Heart - Elton John And Kiki Dee
2. Dream Weaver - Gary Wright
3. Love Machine (part 1) - The Miracles
4. Let Your Love Flow - The Bellamy Brothers
5. Play That Funky Music - Wild Cherry
6. Saturday Night - Bay City Rollers
7. Fooled Around And Fell In Love - Elvin Bishop
8. I'd Really Love To See You Tonight - England Dan, John Ford Coley
9. All By Myself - Eric Carmen
10. S. W. A. T. (theme) - Rhythm Heritage
What things cost
Cost of a new home: $48,000.00
Median Household Income: $12,600.00
Cost of a first-class stamp: $0.13
Cost of a gallon of gas: $0.59
Cost of a dozen eggs: $0.84
Cost of a gallon of milk: $1.65
Top TV shows
1. Happy Days
2. Laverne and Shirley
3. The ABC Monday Night Movie
4. M*A*S*H
5. Charlie's Angels
6. The Big Event
7. The Six-Million-Dollar Man
8. The ABC Sunday Night Movie
9. Baretta
10. One Day at a Time
Ods and ends
Four year colleges cost $1,913
Eastern Airlines ad, "Fly now. Shovel later"
Dustin Hoffman, Jason Robards and Robert Redford star in "All The Presidents Men"
Play That Funky Music is a hit song
50 Ways to Leave Your Lover is a hit single by Paul Simon
Navy tests new Tomahawk sea launched cruise missile
In tennis, transsexual Rene' Richards is barred from the US Open
OJ Simpson signs a record $ 2.9 million contract to play for Buffalo
Women are allowed into NASA training program for astronauts
California is first state to legalize "Living Will"
Presidents nine year old daughter Amy Carter attends predominantly black public school in Washington
Legionnaire's disease fatally strikes 34 in Philadelphia
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Wednesday funnies :)
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Apr 5, 2006 7:14 am
1906 Views
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Enjoy!
Larry gets home late one night and his wife, Linda says: "Where in the
hell have you been?" He replies: "I was out getting a tattoo."
"A tattoo?" She frowned: "What kind of tattoo did get?"
"I got a hundred dollar bill on my privates," he said proudly.
"What the hell were you thinking?" she said, shaking her head in
disdain.
"Why on earth would an accountant get a hundred dollar bill tattooed on
his privates?"
"Well, for one; I like to watch my money grow, and two; once in a while
I like to play with my money; three; I like how money feels in my hand,
and lastly; instead of you going out shopping, you can stay right here
at home and blow a hundred bucks anytime you want."
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Tuesday funny :)
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Apr 4, 2006 1:22 pm
1675 Views
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Well, it's Tuesday and the SMW had a VERY unexpected liaison with a VERY nice gentleman earlier today. We were actually supposed to meet tomorrow but the two of us got to chatting and actually made each other just so damn horny we decided to go ahead and meet today.. God love him! He was just as horny as the SMW..
Well, not anymore. We had fun... hint hint
Since the SMW is in a great mood right now, I thought I'd share this little joke with ya to help cheer up YOUR Tuesday.
-Enjoy SMW
A young woman buys a mirror at an antique shop, and hangs it on her bathroom door.
One evening, while getting undressed, she playfully says, "Mirror,
mirror, on my door, make my bustline forty-four."
Instantly, there is a brilliant flash of light, and her breasts grow to enormous proportions.
Excitedly, she runs to tell her husband what happened, and in minutes they both return.
This time the husband crosses his fingers and says, "Mirror, mirror, on the door, make my penis touch the floor!"
Again, there's a bright flash... and his legs fall off!
Moral of the story: Be careful what you wish for!!
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Rantings of a Skanky Man Whore.
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Apr 3, 2006 1:00 pm
1650 Views
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Ok, I just spent the better part of an hour writing what I considered to be my most masterful blog posting of all time.
Certainly if just measured in length, it was in the top 5 at least.
Unfortunately, I had a phone call, turned around and hit some weird button combo and poof, gone. All if it. ARRGGHGGGHGHG
I WAS a masterpiece guys. Truly a work of art. This was a blog posting of such monumental meaning and depth of reason that all who read it would have been effected and changed forever.
Unfortunately, I can't remember a word of it.
Don't ya just HATE that shit???
Oh well, move on time right?
Ok, contrary to popular belief, the SMW does in fact think of things other than sex. Granted it doesn't happen often but trust me, it does happen.
Normally, once the blood finally releases from my cock and flows back into my brain, I momentarily get a clear/clean/fresh thought that has NOTHING to do with cocks or balls or asses or anything like that. (Ooops, DAMNIT, there it goes again, I better hurry....)
I've purposely stayed away from all of the 'goings on' here on OP blogland over the past two weeks. Not because I didn't have an opinion or because I didn't care mind you.
I did and I do.
First off, I will NEVER condone underage folks participating in this venue. Period, ever. Sorry guys. If your under 18, go find somewhere else to be. If your praying on guys who are under 18yrs old, watch out. The SMW does NOT take kindly to pedophiles, EVER.
That being said, I am a firm believer that the responsibility for 'policing' this site and ensuring that all users are of age, rest squally on the shoulders of the management and owners. Period. We can certainly help if/when we know something concrete but really, it's not our job nor are we liable for it. We ALL must look out after each other though and especially after those youngsters and under the age of consent. We MUST.
Unfortunately, we've lost a damn good blogger over this whole thing.
I've noticed this before and I've asked this question many times but here it is again. Why are gays/bisexual guys SO FUCKING INTOLERANT? Man, the drama around here sometimes is so thick you can cut it with a knife.
If it's not one blogger getting ridden out of here on a rail, it's another who is castigated for asking just a simple question and/or having a very honest observation about postings in the advice columns.
Sheesh fellas. You would think that we of all people would be able to get along better..
Of course all of this activity coincides with some of the most heartfelt and deepest feelings of love and compassion that I've seen in recent memory. Amazing huh?
I guess the OP Blogland is truly a microcosm of life in general. The good the bad, the ugly and the sublime.
You know I find it interesting at least from my vantage point, that it seems like the default condition of a lot if not most gay men is one of loneliness, longing and abject fear. Searching for something or someone that they can never have or find and even if they do, society and others around them will STILL reject them.
So, being gay is a choice huh? Doesn't sound like much of a choice to me...
Every once and a while I run across a question or blog that just leaves me scratching my head.
NO I WILL NOT PAY FOR IT NO MATTER HOW FUCKING BIG YOUR DICK IS. Got it??? Sheesh.. (Nice cock though huh guys?)
The Skanky Man Whore would like to thank ALL of you who read this worthless trash that I put out. I would like to especially thank those who place comments into my blog. I truly enjoy and read each and every one of them. Some of you have given me great insight and made me think in ways that I would have never done otherwise. I thank you all from the bottom of my Skanky heart.
Have you ever wondered why woman hate t-girls so much? I can not think of a single woman that I know, who does just grinch at the thought of a t-girl. I find this amusing especially when you consider that t-girls are the SMWs favorite people. There is NOONE or NOTHING on the face of this or any other planet that I would rather make love to than a t-girl.
God I love 'em. And hey, the SMW just happens to be invited to a full blown t-girl fest this coming Friday!! Wish me luck guys. I'm hoping that I can survive.
Hmmm, there's a new Survivor series. (Not that I watch that trash)
T-GIRL Island Survivor
What do you think??
Well, this was a sorry excuse from my ultimate blog post. I wish I HAD saved that one. It was fantastic. I could have probably started an entire literary career around it. It would have brought peace on earth and good will to ALL men and women, cured Cancer, solved the global warming shit. Damn..... Oh well..
luv ya guys.
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To link to this blog (tazzerman2000) use [blog tazzerman2000] in your messages.
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